Message To The Local Felines

[chaosvizier]

Dear Charles,

I think the fact that you wanted to climb on my lap and curl up and sleep there was a sign of our ever-strengthening diplomatic and personal ties, and it was most heartfelt and welcome.

However, the fact that you also wanted to knead your sharp pointy claws into my Manly Parts (tm) was not conducive to improving our relations. Please understand that my very sudden jumping up and, in doing so, accidentally tossing you sideways was in no way a declaration of hostility, but merely a reaction of shock and discomfort that will not be repeated again as long as you follow one simple set of directions: NO CLAWS ON MY ROCK OF GIBRALTAR, THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

Your fellow housemate,
chaosvizier

Comments

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

There's the good kind of pussy, and there's the wrong kind of pussy. That's all I'm sayin'.

[permogod.livejournal.com]

Word

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

BEST ICON EVER.

[permogod.livejournal.com]

you can also get a t-shirt! I have one, and man is it a great conversation piece ;)


http://www.cafepress.com/chaosbydesign/97759

[afterwards.livejournal.com]

I am traumatized.

[permogod.livejournal.com]

ah, it's comments like yours that make my life worth living ;)

[permogod.livejournal.com]

awwwww, whattagoodkitty..... so cute!

makes me think of the difficulty I had getting dressed for work this morning when Sam descided my bra was a toy and she needed to run out of my room into the hallway with it.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Swipe! No bra for you!

[permogod.livejournal.com]

yeah, cats have a talent for making the most mundane chores (ie. getting dressed) more like an Olympic sport.

[xgreenjudasx.livejournal.com]

We adopted kittens. Little cute fat kittens with needle thin claws.

And my mind harkend back to my childhood lessons of Pavalov and his pooch . . .

and I thought . . .

and I plotted . . .

and I started to put kitten treats in the pockets of Abel's pants.

Abel and I wear the same jeans, inchangibly, because we're one of THOSE couples.

So I would walk around in Abel's jeans with kitten treats stuffed in the pockets. The kittens would go bonkers, mewwwing and grabbing at the protected female junk with their needle thin transluescent claws of maniliness damage.

And I waited.

Their is nothing so wonderful as watching your true love dance across the livingroom in confused pain with two kittens attached to their goodies.

Good times Hans. Good times.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Note to self: Sew up pockets before visiting xgreenjudasx. Also, wear a cup.

[notevenu.livejournal.com]

I'm going to pee in my pants from laughing. I've had kitty claws in my breasts before... not pleasant!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

It hurts real bad! In my pants!

[deinemuse.livejournal.com]

That is the cutest thing ever! See, he really is gay!!!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Totally. Especially with that pink collar.

[permogod.livejournal.com]

"Don't be gay, Sparky! Don't be gay"

[ghostwriterxx.livejournal.com]

Why is my pussy on your lap!?!?! Get your hands off my pussy you perv!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I can't help it. Your Pussy's so soft and smooth. Especially now that you just got him shaved.

[azurelunatic]

*giggle* *wince* It's funnier when it happens to someone else...

Someone featured you on metaquotes. Enjoy all the publicity.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

It's always funny when it happens to someone else. Curses, foiled again!

Oh, and welcome to these here parts!

[grayarcadian.livejournal.com]

Here from metaquotes. I just wanted to recommend a repost and/or joining note_to_cat so you can achieve further alcolates from your pain. You can also try cheering yourself up at note_from_cat

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Note To Cat: Written. Thanks for the idea!
...and is that icon from the Buck Rogers RPG cover? Just curious...

[grayarcadian.livejournal.com]

Nope. It's Jane Fonda from "Barbarella." In this it represents my music and science fiction geek-fu in a sort of visual shorthand. I do love Col. Wilma and my family runs a role-playing game company though.

[allassein.livejournal.com]

I'm just someone who wandered in from Metaquotes. Then I proceeded to read various other of your entries. Do you mind if I continue to do so? Being allowed to friend you would be nice, but I don't expect friendiness back or anything.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Everyone's welcome to friend me. I'm remarkably friendly. Lurk, friend, comment- it's all good. Welcome!

[allassein.livejournal.com]

Friended and relurking until the urge to comment overwhelms me. And it will, I'm sure.

[the-5th-element.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Cats are the greatest. Especially when it comes to interacting with guys it seems. My boyfriend seemingly gets along with all animals. His own cat is very lovable. But he insists on calling my cat the "devil" , etc. because he doesn't like him. I think it must be a territory thing because my cat is wonderful with me. One day Dan bent down to pet my cat and he scratched his face. So much for diplomatic relations...

Btw, Charles looks huge! Is he?

Oh and "Manly Parts (tm)"...just plain awesome. :)

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Charles is small. He's like a pipe cleaner now that he's been shaved. It's surprising because he's usually not this friendly with me- I'm just a housemate. I guess this false friendliness came with a terrible price. Which I paid.

[the-5th-element.livejournal.com]

Ohhh all his willpower was lost with his hair :(

[kokopellinelli]

I used to know a guy who never set his alarm clock, because every morning at 7 o'clock, his cat would come in to his bedroom, place his paw in Richard's armpit, and stick out his claws.

Also, once I was sleeping with my first kitty, Yowl, and he was on my pillow. I was sound asleep and moved my head a little, and before I knew what was happening, I had cat claws embedded in my scalp. That was not a fun night.

[angledge.livejournal.com]

That's funny. Since Torgi (funkyplaid's cat joined our household, I've learned that my alarm clock is also a cat summoning device. I've got about two minutes to get out of bed before Torgi arrives to attack me ...

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Yeah. No cats in my place of dormitude for that exact reason. I like a peaceful unclawed sleep.

[elettaria.livejournal.com]

When I visited my aunt in 1997, her cat Papagena was still a kitten. I was sleeping on the couch, and I had put my hair, which is over three feet long, over the back of the armrest. At 3 am, Papagena would decide it was time to play, and I would be woken by claws in my hair or razor-sharp little teeth in my ankle. I eventually put her on the balcony for the night, where she mewed in heart-rending tones, clawing at the mosquito screen. It was Jerusalem in September and we didn't have the balcony door shut anyway. She survived. She also had a habit of playing in the cat litter tray (on said balcony) and piddling in the geraniums.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

My parents' cat would do that if you sat in The Chair- my dad's very comfy reclining rocking chair. The cat, of course, liked to rest at the top of the chair, and whoever sat down would invite (willfully or not) the cat to pounce on their head, claws and all, and get savaged.

awww

[lynbug.livejournal.com]

gay kitties are loooooove



I hope your manly parts heal without further incident!

Re: awww

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I hope your manly parts heal without further incident!

You and me both...