chaosvizier

To lead into today's movie review, I have to throw in some background on what happened before that.

Basically, the New York Food Festival was this weekend, and my wonderful partner in crime HG got us tickets to go. This is because I love food, and where better to satisfy my gluttonous cravings than at a festival dedicated in its entirety to tasty morsels?

Two important facts to digest: first, make no mistake, there is a substantial amount of food involved at this event. So much so that even at my most omnivorous I have a hard time sampling every last tidbit that is offered. This does not stop me from trying, nor does it stop me from thinking "if I puke now, I'll have more room for the rest of the festival..." more than once. I do not take that drastic step, mostly because I want to see what incredible farts my gastrointestinal system will produce when the hodgepodge of comestibles finally blend within my belly.

Secondly, "Food Festival" is a gross misnomer. This really should be the "New York Alcohol Festival, With Some Food Thrown In To Keep You Moderately Sober". As we waited in line for our round, a large number of attendees were leaving in what could be described as not merely a state, but rather an entire country, of inebriation. And I am convinced that a good two-thirds of the display tables in the festival were devoted to wines and spirits. This also says something, if the remaining one-third of the tables were enough to fill my belly. Make no mistake; the festival is huge. And drinking most certainly did occur.

So, for the better part of three hours, HG and I explored every inch of the festival, tasting samples, picking up recipes, and drinking. This year we were smart and made sure to keep hydrated during the festival; last year we came out of there utterly tanked and completely wiped out. This year our stamina was of higher fare, and we decided to go to a movie to relax and recover. What better movie to choose after such a delicious outing, you might ask?

Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs

( Could I get more hungry after the afternoon's consumption? Amazingly, yes. )

Goddam if I am not right now drinking the greatest gin ever made. Martin Millar's London Dry Gin kicks all kinds of ass. It smells like proper gin and tonic straight out of the bottle, and it's smoother than every other gin I've ever tasted. This gin is so smooth it should have been called Baby's Ass Gin. But then I might not have bought it.

As I mentioned yesterday, this past weekend there was a wedding.

( Now I'll tell the tale of the actual wedding. )

It may come as a shock to some of you, but I am, for the most part, an uncultured swine when it comes to the cinema. Why waste precious neurons contemplating the heavy issues of existence and civilization when I can burn calories cheering as Arnold Schwarzenegger uses gratuitous amounts of force to devastate entire nations? The answer is obvious. Nonetheless, despite this propensity for "bad" movies, I do on occasion encounter something of the more artistic and/or cultured variety. So here goes!

Sideways

( This film has no explosions, no ninjas, and no killing. What's wrong here? Ah, rampant alcohol use. That's ok then. )

So this weekend, the Hive had its traditional Mardi Gras party. "Traditional" might not be the most appropriate word, since our first Mardi Gras party was last year, but since we're displaying foresight and anticipating future similarly-themed parties, we can predict the onset of tradition. We're clever like that.

( Friday: Foreshadowings of Ominous Portent )

( Saturday: Chili of Impressive Magnitude )

( Saturday: Evening of Unmentionable Activity )

( Sunday: Morning of Silent Trauma )

deinemuse summed up most of our Tavern On The Green experience here, including a nice review of the joint and the food and the atmosphere. Right. What she said. We had a nice evening, which as always was highlighted by certain brilliant snippets of dialogue like... well, this:

Quote of the Day:
"There were a lot of pheasants outside, and they would get together and shoot them." - fizrep
"Oh, like servants?" - ghostwriterxx

The real point was, being that I got there early and they got there late, I ended up sitting at the bar drinking strong gin and tonics for 35 minutes.

( A Brief Treatise On The Nature Of Gin And Tonics )

On the other hand, instead of gin, some people chose to have something simpler.

Quote of the Day:
"What kind of tea would you like?" - Sultan (yes, the waiter's name was Sultan)
(looking at proferred box of tea) "What, do I have to guess?" - ghostwriterxx

She was on fire that night, I must say. Sultan probably went back to his homeland and cursed, "By the many arms of Vishnu, that American girl is being making me very angry, oh yes indeed!"

Much better when people bring you tea, though, instead of having to make it yourself, I suppose...

( Tea? Don't Mind If I Do... )

culturecouture, we're going to have to show them how real cooking is done.

I'd write a movie review here for Ju-On, but I can't, because I'm still not entirely sure what the hell was going on during the film. On the other hand, I can at least confirm that it was kinda creepy. The Japanese can make some pretty fucked-up horror films. Plus, it reaffirms my belief that movies with creepy-ass children are the scariest. This movie was subtitled for djdysfunction's viewing pleasure.

This week is also Thanksgiving, in which we celebrate the slaughter of millions of noble turkeys (and ignoble soybeans, for those tofurkey eaters out there) with a feast of colossal proportions. Now, mrmustard has commented on the nature of Thanksgiving in extreme detail here and here. He has great wisdom. I, on the other hand, focus exclusively on four words: "EAT A BIG MEAL" (which can be anagrammed to say "MA, I BEAT A LEG!"). Okay, and four other words: "DAY OFF OF WORK."

( Pilgrims And Allah Are My Friends... )

""Which cocktail are you?""
brought to you by Quizilla

What to say? The resurrection of the tradition of having Memorial Day weekend down in DC at marasca's parents' house was a good thing. Traditions should not be broken.

It was good to see Kodos again. Especially since he's getting married soon, which means he will never be seen again by his friends. Marriage does that, and I find it extremely annoying. What exactly is wrong with spouses having friends and being permitted to see them? Grraaarhghg!! I won't rant here, but it grates on me, having to sit by and watch an extremely good friend vanish off the horizon, never to be seen again.

angledge did not sufficiently describe the horror of our Secret Alcoholic Santa night, so I'll elaborate. The SAS plan was as follows: Every attendee at the party would bring some kind of alcoholic beverage that was different, new, unheard of, or otherwise previously unknown to the rest of the party. These drinks would be matched against each other to see how they rated. We had three categories, but only two got hit before the horror dominated our souls.

In terms of aesthetics, Kodiak won hands down with his bottle that was shaped like an easter island head. Funny. That was the easy contest. The taste testing was less so.

The easter island head was the second-worst tasting item on the menu. It rated a "Holy Fuck!" on a scale of one to ten. angledge provided the winner with little Kahlua coolers in three flavors. These coolers would soon prove to be invaluable, as fizrep offered his mystery treat: a bottle of sugar cane-based alcohol entitled Pitu. It was from Brazil. It had a big red prawnish lobster thing on the label. The smell made even Peace Corps volunteers blanch in disgust. These should all have been clues. But we, troopers that we are, continued with the tasting.

I have tasted some foul crap in my time. The vileness of Jaegermeister is legendary, standing with its colleagues Ouzo and Sambuca. But Pitu made them all its bitches with its unique interpretation of "taste bud stimulation." Kodiak wore his unmistakable Sad Face after sipping. Kodos the Microbiologist grimaced and took notes, no doubt for some future lab work that will earn him a doctorate. fizrep spat up his own donation in the sink. I could not make it through a quarter shot before gagging. The Kahlua coolers served well in the role of tasty chasers that purged the ungodly taint of Pitu from our burning tongues.

Needless to say, that donation got last place.

Secret Alcoholic Santa was, nonetheless, an interesting game. We'll have to remember this for future parties.

Other activities of note: Pictionary's 15th anniversary edition contains a "challenge die" to add spice to a routine game of Pictionary. This die does indeed enhance the game by a good margin, forcing players to sometimes draw with their eyes closes, without lifting their pencils from the paper, two drawings in the same time, or (the most challenging, IMHO) with their off-hand. fizrep and I think this might neutralize our normal Pictionary skills. Experimentation is in order.

Touring Washington, D.C. has taken on new and interesting twists. Having not been there since 11 September 2001, I did not consider new and improved security measures being in effect in the museums. So, like a complete dumbass, I carry my Swiss Army Knife (the most dangerous weapon on the face of the planet, let me tell you) into the city. In the words of the Lawnmower Man, "Access Denied!" Lame. Super lame.

Word of the Weekend: CHON
Second Word of the Weekend: Ziggubelisk

Quote of the Day (fri): "It's like aromatherapy for my liver!" - fizrep
Quote of the Day (sat): "Oooo... it tastes like a fat guy's pants in here!" - chaosvizier

ok, so to conclude the week and more of adurknking drunkneesss thqt ive been going through. tonight was the epitome of funny and booze. We obviously (kodiak, fizrep and mea) drank a olott, inlding double dstrenght dflaoming doctor peppers. but that 's beside the point.
we just laughe d our asses off. I mean laughed. I mean it wais 4:34 on the clocek wehn we started laughting, and now it's t5;11 and we're still kind achukcing . funny.
Why? I dunno. something was said, and then I said "Oh, look, Larry has his sad face on." why i s that funny> shouldn't be to sober people, but we aren ot sober people right now. So, it wa sfunny. Helluv afunny. Man, I have not sp[ace bar coordination skills. Chemistry is ingrained in my shit. I even know right now that alcohol is c2h5oh. I'm fucking smart.
ddsasfddd
fuck, my tumm y hurst from looking laught ing that hard.
look at fizrep's journl entry, i[m sure he said somethign funny too because he's drukner than a shitbu g right now. Like me!11!!!! Fuck.


Edit: This is a later addition from sobriety.
Quote Of The Day (sat): "So I was just sitting there, and I said to myself, 'Chupacopticus'". - Kodos

Can I be drunk another night in a row? Why yes, I think I can!
So, our boss had a housewarming party this evening. Her apartment is on the 33rd floor of a fancy-ass apartment on the East Side of Manhattan, and the view is sweetness. It probably costs my yearly salary every month to rent this place. Fuck. Anyway, it was nice, and she fed us lots of good food and drink. I'm all wined up now. Sobering up slowly, thanks to a nice walk home, but still. Under the influence, as the police might say.
Tune in tomorrow when the Hive arrives and things really get out of hand. Check out all our Majesty!

Quote of the day: "Nice dress. Can I help you out of it?" - chaosvizier