Message To The Local Felines

[chaosvizier]

Dear Charles,

I think the fact that you wanted to climb on my lap and curl up and sleep there was a sign of our ever-strengthening diplomatic and personal ties, and it was most heartfelt and welcome.

However, the fact that you also wanted to knead your sharp pointy claws into my Manly Parts (tm) was not conducive to improving our relations. Please understand that my very sudden jumping up and, in doing so, accidentally tossing you sideways was in no way a declaration of hostility, but merely a reaction of shock and discomfort that will not be repeated again as long as you follow one simple set of directions: NO CLAWS ON MY ROCK OF GIBRALTAR, THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

Your fellow housemate,
chaosvizier

Comments

[elettaria.livejournal.com]

When I visited my aunt in 1997, her cat Papagena was still a kitten. I was sleeping on the couch, and I had put my hair, which is over three feet long, over the back of the armrest. At 3 am, Papagena would decide it was time to play, and I would be woken by claws in my hair or razor-sharp little teeth in my ankle. I eventually put her on the balcony for the night, where she mewed in heart-rending tones, clawing at the mosquito screen. It was Jerusalem in September and we didn't have the balcony door shut anyway. She survived. She also had a habit of playing in the cat litter tray (on said balcony) and piddling in the geraniums.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

My parents' cat would do that if you sat in The Chair- my dad's very comfy reclining rocking chair. The cat, of course, liked to rest at the top of the chair, and whoever sat down would invite (willfully or not) the cat to pounce on their head, claws and all, and get savaged.