Message To The Local Felines

[chaosvizier]

Dear Charles,

I think the fact that you wanted to climb on my lap and curl up and sleep there was a sign of our ever-strengthening diplomatic and personal ties, and it was most heartfelt and welcome.

However, the fact that you also wanted to knead your sharp pointy claws into my Manly Parts (tm) was not conducive to improving our relations. Please understand that my very sudden jumping up and, in doing so, accidentally tossing you sideways was in no way a declaration of hostility, but merely a reaction of shock and discomfort that will not be repeated again as long as you follow one simple set of directions: NO CLAWS ON MY ROCK OF GIBRALTAR, THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

Your fellow housemate,
chaosvizier

Comments

[xgreenjudasx.livejournal.com]

We adopted kittens. Little cute fat kittens with needle thin claws.

And my mind harkend back to my childhood lessons of Pavalov and his pooch . . .

and I thought . . .

and I plotted . . .

and I started to put kitten treats in the pockets of Abel's pants.

Abel and I wear the same jeans, inchangibly, because we're one of THOSE couples.

So I would walk around in Abel's jeans with kitten treats stuffed in the pockets. The kittens would go bonkers, mewwwing and grabbing at the protected female junk with their needle thin transluescent claws of maniliness damage.

And I waited.

Their is nothing so wonderful as watching your true love dance across the livingroom in confused pain with two kittens attached to their goodies.

Good times Hans. Good times.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Note to self: Sew up pockets before visiting xgreenjudasx. Also, wear a cup.