Crappy Day, Funny Tale
Oct. 9th, 2003 10:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chaosvizierToday was a craptacular day, but I'm not going to bore you all with that stuff. I'll just focus on the one crappy event that was actually kind of funny, and should demonstrate why I am not to be allowed into kitchens, ever.
I'm packing and cleaning and what not, because that's what happens before you move. Usually. I've managed to eat almost everything in my fridge and cupboards, so I can leave here with no leftovers. All that's left are a bunch of Ramen noodles and several cans of Spaghettios. Yes, Spaghettios. Yummy little pasta circles... mmmm. So I decide that some of those cans should make a fine lunch for the day. Yes indeedy.
I will always maintain that the kitchen is not a room that I am skilled in using. In fact, beyond silverware and the microwave oven, I am more or less completely handicapped upon entering a kitchen. Professor Steven Hawking would be like Julia Child compared to me. But that's beside the point. I open the tins and pour them into a pot, which I then put on an oven burner. Turn on oven burner. Stir precious little pasta O's around a bit. Get distracted by something for a moment. Look away to fix whatever it was that commanded my attention. Look back at pot of O's, which is now ON FIRE.
Someone tell me: does this shit only happen to me? Or am I so impressively incompetent that even the simple task of cooking instant pasta O's is beyond my nanoscopic skills?
In any event, I manage to extinguish the fire and then, after cursing my name, my lineage, Betty Crocker, Chef Boyardee, and my entire kitchen extensively, I sit and consume burnt Spaghettios, which now have a distinctly strong barbecue (read: carbonized) flava.
Note todeinemuse and ghostwriterxx: Don't let me near the kitchen. Ever. Seriously. Heh.
I'm packing and cleaning and what not, because that's what happens before you move. Usually. I've managed to eat almost everything in my fridge and cupboards, so I can leave here with no leftovers. All that's left are a bunch of Ramen noodles and several cans of Spaghettios. Yes, Spaghettios. Yummy little pasta circles... mmmm. So I decide that some of those cans should make a fine lunch for the day. Yes indeedy.
I will always maintain that the kitchen is not a room that I am skilled in using. In fact, beyond silverware and the microwave oven, I am more or less completely handicapped upon entering a kitchen. Professor Steven Hawking would be like Julia Child compared to me. But that's beside the point. I open the tins and pour them into a pot, which I then put on an oven burner. Turn on oven burner. Stir precious little pasta O's around a bit. Get distracted by something for a moment. Look away to fix whatever it was that commanded my attention. Look back at pot of O's, which is now ON FIRE.
Someone tell me: does this shit only happen to me? Or am I so impressively incompetent that even the simple task of cooking instant pasta O's is beyond my nanoscopic skills?
In any event, I manage to extinguish the fire and then, after cursing my name, my lineage, Betty Crocker, Chef Boyardee, and my entire kitchen extensively, I sit and consume burnt Spaghettios, which now have a distinctly strong barbecue (read: carbonized) flava.
Note to
deinemuse and ghostwriterxx: Don't let me near the kitchen. Ever. Seriously. Heh.
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no subject
Date: 2003-10-09 10:35 pm (UTC)No fire/alcohol mix. just no.
Oh ho!
Date: 2003-10-09 10:42 pm (UTC)Re: Oh ho!
Date: 2003-10-09 10:56 pm (UTC)How does one make one? I ask...
or shall I just tell him to make me one, and trust him with fire in the kitchen?
(well, maybe since I am trusting him, I should make a few...have a couple before to take the fear off.)
Re: Oh ho!
Date: 2003-10-10 06:49 am (UTC)Chaosvizier does pretty well with fire and alcohol, but keep him away from the other kitchen appliances.
Re: Oh ho!
Date: 2003-10-10 10:15 pm (UTC)Re: Oh ho!
Date: 2003-10-10 08:27 am (UTC)Flaming Dr. Peppers all around! Let's all get schnockered!
Re: Oh ho!
Date: 2003-10-10 10:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-10 01:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-10 08:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-10-10 10:18 pm (UTC)I'm seeing I've had a sheltered drinking life!