[personal profile] chaosvizier
When writing a letter regarding personnel and titles, a common abbreviation is the shortening of "Assistant" to "Asst." This is reasonable and saves time and energy. However, be aware that "Assistant" should not, and in fact should never, be shortened to "Ass.", as this leads to unfortunate sentences like the following:

"Mr. X will be serving as the Ambassador's Personal Ass."

And then people ask me why I'm snorting and grimacing at my desk, and I hate explaining myself.

That is all.



And, on a lighter note, The Shakespeare Meme!

I had to memorize Macbeth V.v. in high school for some reason. Oddly enough, it's still there, taking up valuable space that could otherwise have been spent holding nude JPG's of Kirsten Dunst or something.

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps in its petty pace from day to day
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more.
It is a tale told by an idiot,
Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

Personally, I prefer a scene earlier in the play.

"What, you egg?" [stabs boy]
"Run, mother, he has killed me!"

And finally, Keanu Reaves in "A Merchant of Venice Beach" (courtesy of The Critic)

"Hath not a dude arms?
If you prick us, do we not get bummed?
If you poison us with bad guacamole,
Do we not blow chunks?"


And then, the Post a Poem meme!

I used to know all the words to Merlin And The Gleam, but I don't anymore. Don't fault me; it's a long fucking poem. Tennyson's use of Arthurian themes in his work was a subject of research of mine at one point in time; this poem uses the theme of Merlin as a metaphor for his own life, yadda yadda, just read the goddam poem.

My other favorite poem is The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost. Fragments of this poem still occupy precious space in my memory banks, but that's ok, because it's a nice poem.

That's right, I occasionally have culture and like poems. You got a problem with that? I'll iambic pentameter your ass!

Date: 2005-09-23 05:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deinemuse.livejournal.com
I always ask where my ass is at work. It just sounds funny and the looks I get are priceless.

Almost as good as this one:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/ghostwriterxx/226572.html

Date: 2005-09-23 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaosvizier.livejournal.com
I wish I had a personal ass. Alass.

Date: 2005-09-23 05:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cpip.livejournal.com
Wait... your official title involves Protocol Assisting?

You do realize this makes C-3P0 jokes inevitable...

Date: 2005-09-23 06:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaosvizier.livejournal.com
Yes, I know. *sigh* I am fluent in over six million forms of communication, including the middle finger, multiple uses of the tongue, and various positional moonings.

I'm not shiny golden, but I have a nice tan.
(deleted comment)

Re: Shakespeare Meme

Date: 2005-09-23 06:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaosvizier.livejournal.com
When shall we three meet again,
In thunder, lighting, or in rain?
When my PDA comes on,
I'll pick a date and pass it on.

Date: 2005-09-24 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doomgirl.livejournal.com
Okay...so we had this guy over at our house once who was wanting a new job. He worked at a strip club. So he had all his job applications out all over my coffee table. Being the nosy bitch that I am, I picked one up and read it.

He listed his past jobs at So & So Strip Club. Position? Ass. Manager.

I laughed so hard I knocked all the other applications off the coffee table.

Date: 2005-09-24 11:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaosvizier.livejournal.com
The irony in that one is staggering. I wouldn't mind managing some fine ass... hahahah!

Date: 2005-09-24 03:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] doomgirl.livejournal.com
Indeed!!! Hee!

Date: 2005-09-24 01:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sharmel.livejournal.com
And finally, Keanu Reaves in "A Merchant of Venice Beach" (courtesy of The Critic)

"Hath not a dude arms?
If you prick us, do we not get bummed?
If you poison us with bad guacamole,
Do we not blow chunks?"

Hahahha.
After a day or three of regularly blowing chunks, reading this, does nothing more than make me laugh so hard, I nearly did it again!

Date: 2005-09-24 11:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaosvizier.livejournal.com
Oops! I must tag my funnies with a warning- "May Induce Vomiting".

Hope you're feeling better, though!

Date: 2005-09-26 05:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] marasca.livejournal.com
The other day I was reading Penny Arcade at my desk at school and started laughing (understandably). One of the other teachers asked what I was laughing at and asked if she could see. Of course the strip was complete gibberish to her. I felt bad that I wasn't laughing at something she might be able to understand.

Date: 2005-09-26 12:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chaosvizier.livejournal.com
Next time start with "Rain and sometimes bear." She should be able to get that. ;-)

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