Let's Write A Messed Up Story!
Mar. 2nd, 2005 02:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chaosvizierIn the words of Martin Luther "Elvis Ain't Got Nothing" King, "I have a dream..."
It began in a house. Who knows where- some kind of suburban setting- Anytown, USA, streets laid out nicely, homes in their little plots of land, grass and trees everywhere. In one of these houses lived a couple, we'll call them![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dancingsaracen and snigglefritz, since that's who they were. There was another lady who lived there. She had lots of pet rats. The rats were a bit mangy, but friendly, and they lived in a large cage underneath a bed so that no one knew they were there. I was there in this house, and playing with the rats, because, despite being mangy, they were still kinda cute. Not like NYC subway rats or anything.
Then I had to pull some of my teeth out. I hate dreams that invovle teeth falling out. But, oddly enough, I had rows of teeth, layered behind each other, like a shark's. And I just pulled out a 2x2 cluster of teeth. Under the blood and stuff, I found a secret compartment. That's right, I found a secret compartment IN MY MOUTH HIDDEN BY MY TEETH. What the hell that was about, who knows. But inside I found that there had been some kind of powerful nerve gas there, hidden away, and now it was gone, and somehowdancingsaracen had it. In a can of shaving cream. On his desk.
The teeth fit back in my mouth though, popping in like a set of Legos. That's good, at least.
Suddenly I've become a Federal Agent, watching over the street where they live, because the Bad Guys are coming to get the nerve gas. And by over I mean over, because I was in a hang glider. Flying over the street and the houses. I found a suitcase in a tree, which a Bad Guy must have tossed to keep it hidden. The suitcase contained a chemistry set. So I land.
The scene shifts again. A Bad Guy has entered the house in the guise of a FedEx man. He brings his package all the way to the desk. There's the can of shaving cream nerve gas. A Secret Service guy comes in and shoots Bad Guy FedEx man. Another Bad Guy comes in. Someone grabs the can and squeezes. Everybody dies a horrible face-melting death. I'm not sure who everyone is- they're not the same everyones who were there before. But they're melted now.
Hell, back in the hang glider again. Now some kids are down the street, and they're about to perpetuate a Hate Crime. Not sure how I knew that, since they were just knocking on a door, but it was all about the Hate. Swoop! Down I go with the hang glider. Some of the kids scattered, but I got one, and told her "You shouldn't do Hate Crimes because they're bad." - "Ok" she said, and off she went. I'm a pretty lenient Federal Officer, I'm realizing. Then again, it wasn't a dreadful Hate Crime, just some door knocking.
And then I woke up. Never did find out who got the nerve gas in the end. I hope the rats were ok, though. They were nice.
It began in a house. Who knows where- some kind of suburban setting- Anytown, USA, streets laid out nicely, homes in their little plots of land, grass and trees everywhere. In one of these houses lived a couple, we'll call them
dancingsaracen and snigglefritz, since that's who they were. There was another lady who lived there. She had lots of pet rats. The rats were a bit mangy, but friendly, and they lived in a large cage underneath a bed so that no one knew they were there. I was there in this house, and playing with the rats, because, despite being mangy, they were still kinda cute. Not like NYC subway rats or anything.Then I had to pull some of my teeth out. I hate dreams that invovle teeth falling out. But, oddly enough, I had rows of teeth, layered behind each other, like a shark's. And I just pulled out a 2x2 cluster of teeth. Under the blood and stuff, I found a secret compartment. That's right, I found a secret compartment IN MY MOUTH HIDDEN BY MY TEETH. What the hell that was about, who knows. But inside I found that there had been some kind of powerful nerve gas there, hidden away, and now it was gone, and somehow
dancingsaracen had it. In a can of shaving cream. On his desk.The teeth fit back in my mouth though, popping in like a set of Legos. That's good, at least.
Suddenly I've become a Federal Agent, watching over the street where they live, because the Bad Guys are coming to get the nerve gas. And by over I mean over, because I was in a hang glider. Flying over the street and the houses. I found a suitcase in a tree, which a Bad Guy must have tossed to keep it hidden. The suitcase contained a chemistry set. So I land.
The scene shifts again. A Bad Guy has entered the house in the guise of a FedEx man. He brings his package all the way to the desk. There's the can of shaving cream nerve gas. A Secret Service guy comes in and shoots Bad Guy FedEx man. Another Bad Guy comes in. Someone grabs the can and squeezes. Everybody dies a horrible face-melting death. I'm not sure who everyone is- they're not the same everyones who were there before. But they're melted now.
Hell, back in the hang glider again. Now some kids are down the street, and they're about to perpetuate a Hate Crime. Not sure how I knew that, since they were just knocking on a door, but it was all about the Hate. Swoop! Down I go with the hang glider. Some of the kids scattered, but I got one, and told her "You shouldn't do Hate Crimes because they're bad." - "Ok" she said, and off she went. I'm a pretty lenient Federal Officer, I'm realizing. Then again, it wasn't a dreadful Hate Crime, just some door knocking.
And then I woke up. Never did find out who got the nerve gas in the end. I hope the rats were ok, though. They were nice.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 07:48 pm (UTC)*sings softly* "Secret...AAAgent Man, Secret...AAAgent Man..."
"You shouldn't do Hate Crimes because they're bad."
"Also, um...don't do drugs. And only you can prevent forest fires."
:D
no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 09:42 pm (UTC)More Federal Agents need to use Hang Gliders as their means of transportation. I bet they could have squeezed at least one or two extra seasons out of the X-Files if Mulder and Scully had to start visiting cases in hang gliders due to budget cuts in the bureau.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 09:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 10:44 pm (UTC)"Mulder, the black oil aliens are almost at the ship!"
"Hang on, Scully!"
"Goddammit, you use that joke EVERY WEEK YOU ASS!"
"I know, I'm still getting the hang of it."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 10:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 10:35 pm (UTC)You should copyright this story and turn it into a screenplay. Then we can watch it every Christmas!
no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 10:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-02 11:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-03 12:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-03 04:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-03 01:42 am (UTC)