Of Mice And Men

[chaosvizier]

Morning. The bane of humankind, that seemingly endless moment in time where you have emerged from your happy cocoon of sleep and warmth and step wearily into the cold harsh reality of Outside.

Mornings are overrated. But one must suffer them, for the most part, in order to get to Work, which has a habit of paying you well if you show up on time.

So, it is morning, this morning in fact. And katieledge steps out of her apartment and immediately makes an "ew ew ew ew ew" sound, with a small dance routine attached, that signaled surprise and potential disgust. This being New York City, there are a number of immediately obvious possible causes, and as I look down, I see Possible Cause Number Three: one (1) motionless rodent.

"We should... remove it or something?" she suggests hesitantly. The implied meaning was "YOU should remove it or something." I'm not stupid.

Scavenging through my pockets reveals a small plastic bag. Perfect- I can use it as a glove, secure the corpse, wrap it up, and toss it in the trash. So on goes the faux glove, and I grab hold of the tiny mouse body.

"SQUEE SQUEE SQUEE!" declares the mouse body.

"Eeeeeeeeeep!" declares katieledge. Cue dance routine number two.

One has to wonder what caused the mouse to pass out in front of the door and lie there motionless for the night. I imagine a big mouse kegger on the fourth floor, and this little chap had a few too many Mouseweisers and stumbled into unconsciousness next to a door that he thought might offer good refuge for those of inebriated status. Granted, he did choose the right door...

Anyway, despite the liveliness of the mouse body, I manage to remain unperturbed, and wrap the now slightly squirming non-corpse in the bag and toss it in the trash. Animal-friendly persons may note that I did NOT completely smother the mouse in plastic to suffocate it. I suspect when he finally recovers from his hangover and does a "Jebus, where the HELL did I end up?" he'll reform his ways and give up the sauce for good. My good deed for the day is complete.

Comments

[funkyplaid.livejournal.com]

Dood, you'd better make sure it's dead. The LAST thing you need is a undead zombie-mouse resurrecting from the garbage can to slowly peck your flesh while you're sleeping.

Imagine the dance routine THAT would incite.

[marasca.livejournal.com]

Do undead zombie-mice peck? I always imagined they would nibble.

Where's your icon from? Is that from a Tool video?

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

It looks like a wargame miniature, actually.

[funkyplaid.livejournal.com]

Yah, he's right. It's a mummy that I painted from Wargods of Aegyptus.

If I'm a geek, so is Hans.

:0

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I hate those damn dirty zombies. Of any species.

[cheese-girl.livejournal.com]

hahaha, that story made my day....I'm sorry that it had to be at your (and the mouses) expense ;)

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Animals are funny. Even half-passed out ones. And as long as I don't get bit, I'm ok with them too.

Mmmmm... every time I see your icon, I get hungry for a nice Mac And Cheese. So tasty!

[dancingsaracen.livejournal.com]

You know. You can make almost anything into a good humorous story.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Next to drinking, it's my best skill!

[fanboyextream.livejournal.com]

Man you think that the rodent adventure was trumatic, its morrings with kateledge you need to avoid, she just makes up times to get up in the morrning (i've noticed that women do this) the only redemtion to this sin is that on ocasions she offers you choclate for her crimes. oh! wargods, such cool minis

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

She has failed thus far to offer me chocolate. I am saddened.

[fanboyextream.livejournal.com]

What have you done to offend the gods?

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I don't know, but if I can get chocolate out of the deal, I'd better find out.

[the-5th-element.livejournal.com]

This is one of the greatest stories I've ever heard. Maybe the mouse was out late partying and he passed out on your porch? He was probably drinking beer out of an dumpster out in back of a bar.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Why thank you! Always glad to provide some entertainment for everyone.

Those NYC mice party hard-core. Beer in dumpsters, probably sniffing around some leftover crack vials and broken bongs... I'm sure the mice are more altered than Keith Richards.

[the-5th-element.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha