Mass Movie Magnificence!
Dec. 1st, 2003 09:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chaosvizierIndeed, I have not graced you, my loyal readers, with the wisdom that I apply to today's cinematographic features, thus leaving you uncertain as to what to see, and when, and why. But I'm back, bad, black, and mad, and my evil genius is ready to tell you what you need to know about everything. Yes, everything!
Well, everything movie-related, at least. I mean, shit, I'm not here to choose your job or your future spouse or stuff. Get with the program! Understand the movies! Get some popcorn and read up.
The Last Of The Mohicans
I hate literature. I suppose that's a pretty strong indication of my lack of culture, but you know what, just because it's old doesn't mean it's good. Shakespeare? Overrated. Totally. "Ooh, let's write a play about star-crossed lovers who endure tragedy and then die at the end. That's never been done before." Puh-leeze. Get over it. Now, that being said, there are some older works of literature that do appeal to me. Chaucer wrote something funny once, I think. And Beowulf is an action-packed tale of monsters and Vikings. That's all good. Hell, if you read the Bible and treat it like an action movie, it can be a load of fun. In fact, the Bible is a load of fun right here. I guarantee it. But that's beside the point. The point is, most "works of literature" do not appeal to me. And The Last Of The Mohicans is indeed considered a work of literature, since it describes stuff that happened Long Ago. Oddly enough, however, it makes a great movie. How curious.
The plot: French and English and Indians (oh, scuse me, Native Americans) fight each other. Lots.
The pros: Scenery. And lots of it. High mountain passes and waterfalls and fields and forests and look at all the pretty! Watching this movie is like going camping in the Appalachians. Very visually appealing. The scenery is well-mixed with the homes and outposts of the Colonials and the forts of the warring French and English. From there, the war itself is excellently portrayed; I like a good battle scene, and this movie offers several conflicts that are quite massive in scope, most notably the Indian massacre of the British at the end. No side is totally villified or treated as evil; even Magwa, the Mohawk who seeks revenge on the English, is simply devoted to his goal, at the expense of all other considerations. The story is more focused on the forbidden love of the two main characters, but the other plot elements- colonial dissent with English rule, the Indian tribes' adaptation to the new Empires on their soil, the war between England and France over the New World- are all woven together remarkably well.
EDIT:marasca wants it pointed out that Daniel Day Lewis is HOT. Ladies, take note.
The cons: There are obviously certain deviations from the original book. This isn't as much a strike against the film as it is a statement of the obvious- very few books transition unchanged from paper to film. The Hollywoodization of the love story is... well, okay, I'm not big on love stories. Somehow it didn't seem as big an issue in the book, but perhaps I'm misremembering certain factors. There are implications of a second love story, but they barely get touched upon. Either more detail or total absence would have been better. Weapons aficionados will cry out in pain as they watch the inaccurate depiction of 18th century firearms- they certainly were not as easy to handle, nor as accurate, as they were portrayed. But, hell, who's counting? Finally, Lo Pan was left out yet again, but since China was not a featured player in this war, I suppose it can be excused.
The verdict: This movie has a lot going for it- good story, good action, good cinematography, good soundtrack. It even has subtitles here and there. I'm not entirely sure why I like this film. Probably because it has excessive amounts of violence.
Disclaimer: I don't think ALL literature is bad. I mean, I'm sure I liked something else that was all literary and stuff. Like... Clash Of The Titans. Greek mythology is literature. And everyone knows that movie ruled. So there.
Well, everything movie-related, at least. I mean, shit, I'm not here to choose your job or your future spouse or stuff. Get with the program! Understand the movies! Get some popcorn and read up.
The Last Of The Mohicans
I hate literature. I suppose that's a pretty strong indication of my lack of culture, but you know what, just because it's old doesn't mean it's good. Shakespeare? Overrated. Totally. "Ooh, let's write a play about star-crossed lovers who endure tragedy and then die at the end. That's never been done before." Puh-leeze. Get over it. Now, that being said, there are some older works of literature that do appeal to me. Chaucer wrote something funny once, I think. And Beowulf is an action-packed tale of monsters and Vikings. That's all good. Hell, if you read the Bible and treat it like an action movie, it can be a load of fun. In fact, the Bible is a load of fun right here. I guarantee it. But that's beside the point. The point is, most "works of literature" do not appeal to me. And The Last Of The Mohicans is indeed considered a work of literature, since it describes stuff that happened Long Ago. Oddly enough, however, it makes a great movie. How curious.
The plot: French and English and Indians (oh, scuse me, Native Americans) fight each other. Lots.
The pros: Scenery. And lots of it. High mountain passes and waterfalls and fields and forests and look at all the pretty! Watching this movie is like going camping in the Appalachians. Very visually appealing. The scenery is well-mixed with the homes and outposts of the Colonials and the forts of the warring French and English. From there, the war itself is excellently portrayed; I like a good battle scene, and this movie offers several conflicts that are quite massive in scope, most notably the Indian massacre of the British at the end. No side is totally villified or treated as evil; even Magwa, the Mohawk who seeks revenge on the English, is simply devoted to his goal, at the expense of all other considerations. The story is more focused on the forbidden love of the two main characters, but the other plot elements- colonial dissent with English rule, the Indian tribes' adaptation to the new Empires on their soil, the war between England and France over the New World- are all woven together remarkably well.
EDIT:
marasca wants it pointed out that Daniel Day Lewis is HOT. Ladies, take note.The cons: There are obviously certain deviations from the original book. This isn't as much a strike against the film as it is a statement of the obvious- very few books transition unchanged from paper to film. The Hollywoodization of the love story is... well, okay, I'm not big on love stories. Somehow it didn't seem as big an issue in the book, but perhaps I'm misremembering certain factors. There are implications of a second love story, but they barely get touched upon. Either more detail or total absence would have been better. Weapons aficionados will cry out in pain as they watch the inaccurate depiction of 18th century firearms- they certainly were not as easy to handle, nor as accurate, as they were portrayed. But, hell, who's counting? Finally, Lo Pan was left out yet again, but since China was not a featured player in this war, I suppose it can be excused.
The verdict: This movie has a lot going for it- good story, good action, good cinematography, good soundtrack. It even has subtitles here and there. I'm not entirely sure why I like this film. Probably because it has excessive amounts of violence.
Disclaimer: I don't think ALL literature is bad. I mean, I'm sure I liked something else that was all literary and stuff. Like... Clash Of The Titans. Greek mythology is literature. And everyone knows that movie ruled. So there.
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no subject
Date: 2003-12-01 07:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-01 07:59 am (UTC)Instead, that girl became the poster child for post-traumatic stress disorder. Everywhere she looked, someone else gets horribly slaughtered, and her eyes get wider and wider as her face shifts slowly into madness and despair. She would have grown up needing centuries of therapy.
TRAUMA!!!!
no subject
Date: 2003-12-01 07:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-01 08:06 am (UTC)TRAUMA!!!
no subject
Date: 2003-12-01 09:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-01 09:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-01 09:46 am (UTC)Since I know you'll be anxiously awaiting my response...
Date: 2003-12-01 10:15 am (UTC)Hahaha, only you, Hans. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hug fan of Shakespeare, but after reading some of his works, I have to at least give him credit for what he did.
Chaucer wrote something funny once
Yes. "the Miller's Tale." The rest of what I've read by him was quite painful.
Beowulf is an action-packed tale of monsters and Vikings
It's still no "Aliens."
they certainly were not as easy to handle, nor as accurate, as they were portrayed
That seems to be true of almost every movie ever made, both modern or otherwise.
It even has subtitles here and there
I guess I'd better rent it then!
I will have to rent this one of these days. It's been on my list of movies to rent, but I never seem to get around to it.
Re: Since I know you'll be anxiously awaiting my response...
Date: 2003-12-01 11:49 am (UTC)Beowulf... is still no "Aliens."
Now that I can agree with 100%.
Re: Since I know you'll be anxiously awaiting my response...
Date: 2003-12-02 05:57 am (UTC)Re: Since I know you'll be anxiously awaiting my response...
Date: 2003-12-03 09:13 am (UTC)