Thanks to the unexpected but awesome resurgence of LJ users, and the subsequent acquisition of new friends, I feel the need to post another introduction. This will make me seem cool and amazing, which in turn will lead to crushing disappointment in six months when you learn that it's all a horrible sham and I'm really just a creepy hermit huddled under a blanket watching Voltron5.

This might get long and wordy and may have pictures, so here's a cut tag for convenience.

Facebook's lack of cut tags and organizational methods makes it a far inferior platform. )
Today's educational topic is music.

To summarize: Music is good.

Now, I like music. I played instruments in elementary and high school. I sang with choirs. I enjoyed musicals. I even just got myself one of them iPod doohickies and used it to get music off of some tubes somewhere.

And now, the fine print... )
Previously, our intrepid heroes [livejournal.com profile] fizrep and [livejournal.com profile] chaosvizier, accompanied by the stalwart heroines AB and HG, braved the wilds of Northern California. Of Nature they partook, and took part, and it was good. But their travels continued...

More pictures! More story! More gobbledygook! )
So, last month I went on vacation to that West Coast I hear we have. You might already be asking, "Gee, update on time much?" Yeah, well, sometimes you just get lazy. Just for that, here's a long photo-intensive story. Serves you right.

Long and Photo-Intensive Story is hidden behind this cut tag. Beware, oh ye of weak bandwidth and limited attention spans! )
So there I was, wandering around southern Manhattan at 5:00 am, and a homeless guy is trying to sell us death sticks and crack...

But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself here... (EDIT: Now with more pictures and tales!) )
Merry Christmas to everyone. Even if you don't celebrate. I still think you should be merry. Because, hey, why not? It's a seasonal thing. You can be a jerk next week, if you want. I probably will. But right now, enjoy the day. It means fun and merriment. Go make merry; you won't regret it.

Ok, just to show you how easy it is, I'm going to try it out.
*deeeeeep breath*
I think you guys are great and it's a pleasure knowing you, for real or otherwise.
*exhale*
Hmm. That wasn't too difficult, but it took a lot out of me. I can go back to being my usual self now. ;-)

See you in a week when I might make a friendly New Years post as well. Although I'm much more likely to make a drunk-off-my-ass post at that point.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg agrees: "[livejournal.com profile] chaosvizier's full of Christmas cheer right now, but in seven days he's going to be the most shitfaced guy on the planet, and I'll be glad to have him out of my city."
Because we're slow, we decided to celebrate Halloween a few days late. Hey, when the holiday's on a Tuesday, what can you do?

And there was a party, And the changing of garments, And hijinks most wacky, And it was Good in the eyes of the Mirror God. )
Previously, our hero had found himself at the mercy of the World Sumo Wrestling League and the infinite shenanigans that went along with a performance of the ages. The tale was magical, but lacked photographic evidence and support... until now.

Now behold the picspamming power of Iron Mountain! )
And now, a few weeks late, I conclude the tale of travels across the pond. Yes, almost a month later. I'm slow, and there was chocolate to be eaten.

Once again, pictures and jibberish abound. Also, surprise of surprises, I go see a castle and a cathedral. )
British English is not really a foreign language compared to American English. It's simply spoken in a manner that defies logic and reason.

The very heart and soul of Her Majesty's empire is seen herewith. Granted, if you locate London on a map, it's more at the colon or appendix level, but we'll discuss that another time. )
Wherein our heroes ultimately arrive at the religious capital of the United Kingdom and discover that cathedrals are big, shiny, and lethal.

Oh, whatever. I'm just raving again. Again, beware of pictures. )
Welcome once again to the Theatre of Excessive Hyperbole, wherein the serious, the absurd, and the absurdly serious are mixed together for results unimaginable. But be forewarned! These tales are not for the faint of heart. Dread deeds, vegetarianism and mathematics most malignant occupy these pages before you. Enter at your own peril!

Actually, it's not too perilous. Maybe just a little peril. The pictures might be perilous if you're all low bandwidth and shit. )
Back from vacation. Back at work. Such is our tale of tragedy and woe.

But it will be a tale told later, in which such questions might be answered:

1) Sheesh, does Britain not yet have the Intarwebs?
2) Is driving in England tantamount to self-destruction?
3) Do people really sound like Dangermouse?
4) Black Pudding- is it really all that bad? Or black?
5) Is this truly the country that has mastered the gin and tonic?

You know, I'll save you the trouble and answer that last question right now. Here is a picture taken in Sainesbury's (the nation's supermarket chain of choice):

It's gin and tonic in a can. Like a soda, or a beer. But gin and tonic. INCONCEIVABLE!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Gin and tonic, canned for ease of use and consumption. Truly, Britain is a magical land.

Like I said, more later, after I catch up from work. BONZAI!
As I mentioned yesterday, this past weekend there was a wedding.

Now I'll tell the tale of the actual wedding. )
This weekend, there was a wedding.

This story does not actually talk about the wedding, but what came before. It's like a prequel, see? )
Ok, I admit, I'm not a huge updater. I write here once in a while, just for shits and giggles. But some folks say they want to know more about what I'm doing, and that I should update and stuff, so here's my review of my life in the year 2006. That's right, all 24 days of it. Fear the summary. FEAR!

On the First Day of January someone gave to me... A craptastic marshmallow peep! )

Later that year, some other crazy stuff happened. )

And then, some martial arts nonsense. )
Link courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] fizrep:

Don't click if you're into animal rights and PETA and all that stuff.

Now, the issue is not really what is being sold here. The real question is, what is it that makes Labor Day the perfect time for a 25% discount on such a product?

I have no good answer here.
OMGWTFMANTISPWNED!!!

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] the_5th_element, even though the story squicked her out completely.
The Phallic Logo Awards, In Which It Is Determined Once And For All Which Logo Is The Most Phallic. Thank you [livejournal.com profile] blu_matt for finding this display of creative misinterpretation.

In case you might not have guessed, this link is only marginally safe for work. There is no actual phallus imagery, per se. But... well, see for yourself.
This Saturday, I went to a wedding.

Yeah, it's story time again. And it's pretty sacreligious too, so if you're worried about catching fire for reading my heresies, you might want to stop here... )
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