A Great Tragedy

I really do feel badly about the fact that some thirty Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies were so overwhelmed with despair and worldly sorrow that they felt the need to commit mass suicide by leaping into my all-consuming maw. I did not want to be proxy to their fate, yet I had no choice but to chew and swallow in self-defence, lest their incredibly minty goodness choke the very life from my body. Requiescat in pacem, little ones. Your story will live on forever.