Monday Movie Mania, Part 1!

[chaosvizier]

Well, this weekend was pretty movie-licious, covering two major blockbusters in a single bound! Wheeee! So, let's discuss...

Terminator: Salvation



Here we are at the fourth film of the franchise, and one of the big questions that I keep asking myself is "How does that guy get away with the name McG anyway? I just want to smack him." That, however, is completely irrelevant to the rest of the film. Mr. McG should get credit for taking the "Terminator" franchise in a brand-new direction - all previous films have involved Terminators being sent back in time to kill various key figures in humanity's future. However, here we have gone forward into that future to see what humanity is doing in its battle against the machine menace. And, in a sense, we have a circular prequel to the first "Terminator" film, leading one to wonder which came first, the prequel or the sequel, or are they time-travelling equals? Ah, who am I kidding? This isn't philosophy, it's action and adrenaline pumped up to eleven. Well, maybe eight and a half.

We do have a star-studded cast here, however. Let's give credit to Batman for leading the human resistance. If anyone can defeat skynet, you can bet it'll be the goddam Batman. And hey, didn't you think Pavel Chekov was the cutest thing in the new Star Trek movie? Well, he's less cute and less Russian in this film, but he does have more dialogue. And, holy crap, is Helena Bonham Carter the villainess? Can you believe it? Well, probably, if you've seen the previous Harry Potter movie. And let's throw in Michael "I Make Gruff Look Awesome" Ironside and Bryce Dallas "This Is Not A Shyamalan Movie" Howard for good measure. Heavy.

The plot: It's man vs. machine! But not that lame TV show "Mann Vs. Machine". That was crappy. This is less crappy.

The pros: Taking the franchise in a new direction is a good thing; the "send one robot and one savior back in time to duke it out" thing has definitely worn out its welcome. Now we get to see the armies of man and the armies of Skynet go toe to toe, and it's not pretty. You've got action by the bucketload, giant robots, tough guys, tough girls, tough kids... yeah. The plot is fairly linear, with the resistance trying one final desperate gambit to beat the machines, and with an unknown in the form of Marcus, the first in a line of human-looking Terminators. And, as a bonus, Arnold Schwarzenegger is digitally represented in the first deployment of the T-800, the role he played in all the previous Terminator films.

The cons: Well, it is an action movie. You're not expecting Shakespeare, as usual. It's not as horrific as Terminator 1 or 2, where you actively feared the unstoppable juggernaut that was the evil Terminator. This is just a bunch of pumped up adrenaline, where you know that Marcus is a tool of Skynet, and you're just waiting to see when he will turn on his human "friends". You know that the resistance leaders are just a bunch of blowhards, and that John Connor is the only person worth a damn. You know that, in the words of Admiral Ackbar, "It's a trap!" and you wait for it to be sprung. But all that aside, it's a decent action movie, and still vastly better than Terminator 3.

The verdict: Could be better... but could be a lot worse. And it's a nice picture of the future after the robots did their deed.

Disclaimer: Helena Bonham Carter for SHODAN in "System Shock: The Movie". Y/Y?

Disclaimer: I actually thought False Arnold was pretty well done. Extra credit for using shadows and lighting to cover up his nekkid nether regions.

Disclaimer: Hee hee, Christian Bale said "I'll be back".

Disclaimer: I hate the "Cute Little Kid" trope.

Edit: Who the fuck brings their 3-yr-old to this movie? It was 1:45 pm on a Sunday! You can find a fucking babysitter! IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD! Get that little shit out of here! JEBUS! Thank goodness the movie was louder than its screaming.

Comments

[lovellama.livejournal.com]

Extra credit for using shadows and lighting to cover up his nekkid nether regions.

Well, screw it, I'm not seeing it now. :*(

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I forgot about the unsubtle application of mud all over Sam Worthington's nekkid body when he emerges from the pit. "Hey Marcus, is that some extra-bulgy mud down there, or are you just happy to be in this movie?"

[doomgirl.livejournal.com]

I thought this movie was quite good and loved the "nods" to the previous movies such as "I'll be back" and "Come with me if you want to live". And Christian Bale...well...he would have to do something truly heinous for me to not love him.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

The nods to the past were good - like Star Trek, you gotta make the connection with the old-school fans. And hey, it's scruffy Christian Bale. ANGRY BATMAN!

[doomgirl.livejournal.com]

I love freaking Batman...if I were a comic book super hero...he would be it.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Why Batman, what lovely... breasts you have there!

[doomgirl.livejournal.com]

Haha!!!!

Batboobs. Hee.

They distract the bad guys while I whip out my cool toys to beat their ass with...

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Whoa there, maybe you should keep your "cool toys" to yourself. ;-)

[doomgirl.livejournal.com]

Right...like you don't want to see them...

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

The toys or the boobs? ;-)

[doomgirl.livejournal.com]

Both.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

...ok, you win this round. But we shall meet again!

[doomgirl.livejournal.com]

you hope...hee.

[wiredwizard.livejournal.com]

I give it 2 out of 5. I only saw it 'cause Up lost the coin toss, and on the whole I was unimpressed by the whole thing (unimressed in the =rolling eyes= I liked Crank 2 more sort of way).

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I've got to get on the Crank/Crank 2 bandwagon sometime. Y HALO THAR NETFLIX, I HAEV JOB 4 U.

[wiredwizard.livejournal.com]

The Crank movies aren't good in an Academy Award winning sort of way, but in an over-the-top insane & zany sort of way they're great! =)

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much what I heard, and you know, I'm totally ok with that. ;-)

[wiredwizard.livejournal.com]

Y'know, so am I. Besides, I'm a Statham fan. it's fun watching him beat people up. =)

[lovellama.livejournal.com]

Mmmmm, Statham...

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Heh, I netflixed "Transporter 3" the other day. They should just rename that series "Hi, I'm Jason Statham, And I'll Be Removing My Shirt At 37 Minutes Into The Film." Because, well, he does.

[lovellama.livejournal.com]

Not that there's anything wrong with that... :D

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I wish I could make a film starring myself that included that kind of description. Unfortunately, it would just be a remake of "The Blob". Curses. ;-)

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he is a great guy to watch for fighting. It's a shame "War" didn't live up to more potential. Jason Statham vs. Jet Li? Shit, give me a 2-hr fight sequence and call me spent!

[wiredwizard.livejournal.com]

War was a bit of a let down, I agree. Jet made up for it though w/ Forbidden Kingdom. =)

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

True, Jet Li vs. Jackie Chan was totally worth it. More of that needs to happen. Although really, Jet Li just needs to keep making movies like "Fearless" and "Once Upon A Time In China". He's wasted in most Hollywood films. Well, except "Kiss Of The Dragon", because he beat the hell out of a bunch of Frenchies, and that's always funny.

[wiredwizard.livejournal.com]

What I want to see is a movie w/ Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Michelle Yeoh, Jason Statham, Zhang Ziyi & Chow Yun Fat. No guns. All swords, fists & feet. And maybe a cameo of Samuel L. Jackson yelling "Motherfucker!" as he defenstrates someone - Jean Claude Van Damme or maybe Steven Seagal maybe?

In IMAX 3D.

I'm not asking much here people.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

I think I could get behind this movie. That's a lot of awesome-class whupass to put on one screen. And then a whole bunch of CGI-inserted Bruce Lee's just to make it complete.

I don't see how this movie could fail.

[wiredwizard.livejournal.com]

Better idea! Rather than CGI-ing Bruce Lee in, have the final battle scene happen in front of a giant movie screen showing Bruce Lee beating Chuck Norris's character to death in Way of the Dragon!

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

That's right, folks, you heard it hear first: This movie is either awesomely dumb or dumbly awesome! TAKE YOUR PICK!

Batman did get his ass beat pretty bad, but he wasn't carrying his Bat Utility Belt, and didn't have the Batmobile nearby. Still, he made do with what he had, and did his share of the damage. Batman still comes out all right.

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

You're not expecting Shakespeare, as usual.

Have you heard the director’s commentary for the Charlie’s Angels movie? At one point McG says, “Look, it’s not King Lear.”

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

McG might have a stupid name, but he has a good point.

Re: Babysiters

[writersblock-va.livejournal.com]

"Edit: Who the fuck brings their 3-yr-old to this movie? It was 1:45 pm on a Sunday! You can find a fucking babysitter! IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD! Get that little shit out of here! JEBUS! Thank goodness the movie was louder than its screaming.

Umm, hate to burst your bubble, but ya. It IS that hard to find a sitter.

Which is why my wife and I only see about 4 movies a year in the theater right now.

Re: Babysiters

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I guess I am out of touch with the world today. My parents left me with sitters all the time. Ah, but no, I'm wrong. I was older, I think. Maybe it's harder to get a sitter for a toddler.

Still, I'm not entirely certain that "Terminator:Salvation" was an ideal toddler movie, what with a lot of angry metal skulls hunting people down... cheeky skulls. Maybe a little more logical, if you have to bring the toddler along, to choose "Up" instead.

Re: Babysiters

[writersblock-va.livejournal.com]

ya, maybe its different in other parts of the country, but for us, now, where we live? It SUCKS. Getting a sitter you can rely on and Trust, is NOT easy.

I really expected it to be WAY easier than its turned out to be. Quite teh culture shock for us, as we both expected to to be like for our parents. And honestly they was you see it in the movies w/ sitters coming over all the time.

It ain't like that here anyway.

But TOTALLY agree on people NOT taking kids to certain movies. Some people have NO sense when it comes to approritate movies for little kids.

Chrome Skulls

[wiredwizard.livejournal.com]

Angry metal skulls yes, but why in the name of Cthulhu did the pre-T800 models have angry metal skulls w/ Jay Leno's chin?!

Re: Chrome Skulls

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

Hey, if you can digitally insert Ahnold into the film, then why not Jay Leno? "I just flew in from Skynet and boy are my servorotors tired!"

Re: Chrome Skulls

[wiredwizard.livejournal.com]

=snerk= If he said that, all the other terminators would push him into the metal foundry.

[cpip.livejournal.com]

Helena Bonham Carter as SHODAN? I can definitely get on board with that.

[chaosvizier.livejournal.com]

She had a somewhat analogous role here, and she looked the part. I think it would work out great.