"After that they had ten years of pestilence and plague!"

[chaosvizier]

Dear Swine Flu,

Hi there! I see you're reveling in your newfound celebrity today. You even rate a Pandemic Level Four Five with the World Health Organization. That's some pretty hot shit right there. I just want to advise you not to get too comfy up there in the spotlight. You might want to check out your friends SARS and Avian Flu. They were hot shit back in the day too, and look at them now. Folks can't even spell SARS anymore, it's that far under the radar. Your time will come soon enough. Now get out of the news; you're blocking my view of Air Force One playing a late April Fools Joke on Manhattan.

Sincerely,

chaosvizier

PS - Dear Media Outlets, please wake me up when velociraptor flu makes its debut. I think I'll start paying attention then.

Comments

[thornsilver]

I am trying to imagine circumstances that allow for existence of velociraptor flu. (Also, I kind of wonder if it turns people into velociraptors.)

[fizrep.livejournal.com]

Your mother is a fluzy!

[vilnolin.livejournal.com]

i wanna catch the velociraptor flu. maybe i'd grow really awesome 6 inch killing claws on my middle toes and be super fast and vicious!

whooooo!

[lady-autumnstar.livejournal.com]

I'd travel by floo powder more often but the flue in my chimney hasn't been cleaned recently.

[notevenu.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOL

[wazira-sharira.livejournal.com]

I'm heavily considering metaquoting this. At least the part about velociraptor flu.

[barbarienne.livejournal.com]

I watched the Daily Show last night, and they were making fun of the channels who were fueling idiotic panic. Also, it was the first time I saw that the "Queens high school" that was the locus in NY was...mine.

Sheesh. I leave NY for a year, and the whole place goes to hell.

[wiredwizard.livejournal.com]

If this Swine Flu thing makes me miss Wolverine & Star Trek in the theatres, I will have to take my sword (which one I have yet to decide) & smite things.

Swine Flu Takes its Terrible Toll

[triplemare.livejournal.com]

[drlaurac.livejournal.com]

EXACTLY!
Or the Zombie flu!

[agent-alpo.livejournal.com]

Ha. Funny.

I was getting really tired of people on my friends list making Captain Tripps references. Because really? Captain Tripps wiped out an entire military base in less than a week and 99.4% of the world's population in 19 days. Swine flu, on the other hand, has only killed people in Mexico and has been floating around for longer than 19 days. It's not fucking Captain Tripps people! So STFU.

[teacup-werewolf.livejournal.com]

Until we get undead roaming around a mass body count of 60 daily in the US...we have nothing to worry about

I will thank the pig flu for getting me into Panademic

[flawed-karma.livejournal.com]

I was talking to an online acquaintance about Swine Flu. Her neighborhood had its first reported case. In the school she does daycare at.

"I'll be okay," claims she, a childcare worker. "I'm a vegan. I don't eat pork."

...or have two brain cells to rub together, obviously.