Once upon a time, when I was a wee lass living in the wilds of Broklyn Heights, one of my friends had a roller skating party. I think her name was Erica, or maybe it was America, or maybe Erica was short for America, no matter. I wasn't a bad little roller skater, and was happliy cruising around the rink when some hotshot asshole in lame short shorts (I might be making that up, but I remember him being shiney) skating backwards at top speed careened into me and knocked us both over. Somehow in the process he hit me in the face and I got a big, fat, bloody lip. I spent the rest of the party sitting with Erica's mom sucking on pudding pops to keep the swelling down.