Fun Science Fact: The Portuguese Man O'War is considered one of the most dangerous jellyfish-like creatures around (technically it is not a jellyfish, it just acts like one and gets to go to their parties and stuff).

I went to a beach which, at low tide, was strewn with stranded Men O'War. STREWN. No, not like two or three. DOZENS. Just lying there on the beach, waiting for you to accidentally step on their tentacles so that, even in their dying moments, they could still claim a victim, gurgling in their Jellyfish Language "From Hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee."

Everyone remember: the ocean wants to kill you. Always.
The subject line really has nothing to do with this post at all. Just rambling on about things that I've done recently. Things that are fun and different, as opposed to normal everyday things like poopin'.

Part 1: I <3 V-Day. No wait, I <3 alcohol. That makes much more sense. )

Part 2: Sports? Moi? Of course not, why do you ask? )

Part 3: See-Saw. That's a terrible pun that I just thought of. I should not be proud, and yet I totally am. You'll see why in a second. )

Epilogue: How to make alcohol better. )
Enough of that boring work stuff. Let's get to the goods, complete with a shit-ton of pictures. No zebras were humped during the writing of this entry.

In Which Our Hero Finally Stops Working And Goes To A Safari Park For Vacation, Which Is So Awesome That This Cut Tag Cannot Truly Express It. Also, Lots Of Bandwidth-Hogging Pictures. )
This would be the last of the boring work-related entries. Next stop: Fun time!

In Which Our Hero Finishes His Work-Related Functions, Listens To The Radio, And Enjoys Zebra Porn. )
Kenya does have much to offer... but before we get to the really good stuff and pretty pictures, we have to work our way up through the boring parts.

In Which Our Hero Engages In Official Duties, Bores You Silly, Succumbs To Bureaucracy, And Reiterates How Awesome Monkeys Are. )
Finally back from the legendary Dark Continent, and boy are my arms... nah, let's move on.

First off, just to officially get it out of the way, come to Kenya; we got lions. That's right, I had to post this. That's the way these things go.

Or, if you don't want to read, maybe you need to take an energy drink. It'll make you appreciate Kenya more.

Introduction: In Which Our Hero Heads For, And Lands In, Nairobi. He Also Takes Up Your Bandwidth With Large Pictures. )
I'll post a real entry eventually, summarizing my trip in all its inglorious glory (read: tl;dr), but for now I have to ask myself: Why, in the middle of Kenya, can I hear the distinct and unmistakable sounds of a full-fledged bagpipe and drum band? And no, not a small one either. It's loud, and it's marching, and it's not just someone's TV or stereo on too-high volume. Either there are some very very lost Scotsmen nearby, or there's way too much gin in my latest gin and tonic...

Kenya!

Nov. 23rd, 2009 01:48 pm
Current status report: In Kenya. Have seen monkeys. Have not seen lions or tigers. Working on it. Also, not dead. I guess that's good. More later, including pictures. With monkeys.
In the words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." He was speaking of Mos Eisley spaceport, but truly, had he ever visited Las Vegas, he could have said the exact same thing. And I did too.

Things I did not do in Las Vegas: get married, get hookers, meet Elvis. Just to get that out of the way quick. )
Holy crap, I'm in another desert! You think I would have learned after Qatar...

Now that's not fair; Qatar was fun. And this will probably be fun as well, although it will have fewer camels. Which is a damn shame; the American southwest needs some camels to populate its desert wastelands. But that's beside the point.

I am in Las Vegas right now. Aye, the capital of sin, the city of lights, the epicenter of entertainment. Why am I here? Well, that tale will be told in good time. This is just a warmup.

Still, I like travel. And I like goofy stuff. So, if you happen to live in/near Vegas, you're welcome to find me. I'll be drunk #417 on the left. If you're not in/near Vegas and want to pretend, email me your address and name (through livejournal or at chaosvizier at hotmail) and I'll send you a postcard. After I sober up.

Pictures will no doubt be forthcoming. Eventually. Get ready; the best is yet to come!
"Bon Voyajee", as Bugs Bunny would say!

I like travel. Travel is fun. I have to admit, if I won the lottery, I wouldn't be too into buying stuff (except maybe a pimped-out computer every few months), but I would definitely blow about 80% of my winnings on an eternal vacation to everywhere. No question.

Occasionally, something happens at work which involves us travelling to another country to do more work. Obviously this is not really anything special; lots of jobs involve international travel, and much more frequently than my own. So, whatever.

That being said, next week I'm heading off to Qatar for three weeks. Long trip, lots of work, all that but still, what the heck, it's a foreign country that I've never visited before. And I've got time to kill, to tour around and see the sights, and check out somewhere different. It's an adventure, and unlike Mr. Bilbo Baggins, I like adventures. They're exciting. And there's nothing I like better than sharing excitement with others. Except those jerks in Pod Six.

So, to get to the point, if anyone reading this wants a postcard from the fun-filled action-packed Middle Eastern nation of Qatar (that'd be 14 Scrabble points if proper nouns were allowed), send me a message (chaosvizier [at] hotmail, or LJ's message system thingy) with your name and address (your name would be helpful if I only know your user name, after all), and in the words of AOL, "You'll Get Mail!"

And remember: yes you can have a postcard, but...
Previously, our intrepid heroes [livejournal.com profile] fizrep and [livejournal.com profile] chaosvizier, accompanied by the stalwart heroines AB and HG, braved the wilds of Northern California. Of Nature they partook, and took part, and it was good. But their travels continued...

More pictures! More story! More gobbledygook! )
So, last month I went on vacation to that West Coast I hear we have. You might already be asking, "Gee, update on time much?" Yeah, well, sometimes you just get lazy. Just for that, here's a long photo-intensive story. Serves you right.

Long and Photo-Intensive Story is hidden behind this cut tag. Beware, oh ye of weak bandwidth and limited attention spans! )
Hey! Hey you! Want to learn something new about me? Click here for the goods!

Really! Click here! )
Because we're slow, we decided to celebrate Halloween a few days late. Hey, when the holiday's on a Tuesday, what can you do?

And there was a party, And the changing of garments, And hijinks most wacky, And it was Good in the eyes of the Mirror God. )
(from a phone conversation, earlier...)

ME: Yes, you can get the flight tracking information from Newark Airport's website. If you know the flight number or the point of departure, they can tell you the flight status.
THEM: Oh, that's good to know.
ME: When do they get here?
THEM: 9:10 tonight.
ME: Hmm. Ok, five hour time difference from-
THEM: No, six hours. They're coming from the Netherlands.
ME: Ah, where from?
THEM: Shithole.
ME: *much longer pause* ummmmm... whah?
THEM: That's what it says.
ME: I... whah?
THEM: It's here. S-C-H-I-T-H-O-L.
ME: ...okay then.
MY BRAIN: Those wacky Dutch.

(much later)

ME: OOOHHHH, SCHIPHOL. WITH A P. JESUS CHRIST.
And now, a few weeks late, I conclude the tale of travels across the pond. Yes, almost a month later. I'm slow, and there was chocolate to be eaten.

Once again, pictures and jibberish abound. Also, surprise of surprises, I go see a castle and a cathedral. )
British English is not really a foreign language compared to American English. It's simply spoken in a manner that defies logic and reason.

The very heart and soul of Her Majesty's empire is seen herewith. Granted, if you locate London on a map, it's more at the colon or appendix level, but we'll discuss that another time. )
Wherein our heroes ultimately arrive at the religious capital of the United Kingdom and discover that cathedrals are big, shiny, and lethal.

Oh, whatever. I'm just raving again. Again, beware of pictures. )

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