Because we're slow, we decided to celebrate Halloween a few days late. Hey, when the holiday's on a Tuesday, what can you do?

And there was a party, And the changing of garments, And hijinks most wacky, And it was Good in the eyes of the Mirror God. )
As I mentioned yesterday, this past weekend there was a wedding.

Now I'll tell the tale of the actual wedding. )
This weekend, there was a wedding.

This story does not actually talk about the wedding, but what came before. It's like a prequel, see? )
Ok, I admit, I'm not a huge updater. I write here once in a while, just for shits and giggles. But some folks say they want to know more about what I'm doing, and that I should update and stuff, so here's my review of my life in the year 2006. That's right, all 24 days of it. Fear the summary. FEAR!

On the First Day of January someone gave to me... A craptastic marshmallow peep! )

Later that year, some other crazy stuff happened. )

And then, some martial arts nonsense. )
So... it's a New Year. And like any New Year, it should start off with a bang.

Well, alright, this was two weeks ago and all that. I'm slow. Sue me. )
This weekend was full of all sorts of wacky hijinks and shenanigans. [ profile] fizrep made his debut as Ron Jeremy's First Apostle of Porn, using the powers of the digital camera to their utmost and generating the best in lesbian wheelchair pr0n. Impress-fraggin-ive. [ profile] lemmywinks30 turned older and partied hardy under alcohol's soothing influence. [ profile] katieledge and I discovered, at 0330, a diner that dispensed with the thickest greasiest cheeseburger in the history of grease and cheese. [ profile] ghostwriterxx discovered the magical sweet power of peanut-butter Oreos, which I find quite tasty, although not quite in the same league as their minty cousins. Deadwood was its usual cocksuckingly funny hoopleheaded self.

But the highlight came in the middle of Sunday afternoon.

[ profile] perkyczarlet and I took a walk through Central Park, taking advantage of the incredible weather that Mother Nature had finally seen fit to provide us with. The park was full of people- millions of New Yorkers came out to sunbathe, play ball and frisbee in the fields, walk their pets, and generally enjoy the atmosphere, even as we ourselves were doing. Granted, I almost lost her as we passed a team of scantily clad athletic males playing volleyball, but with a bit of effort I managed to pull her back on the path and continue our walk.

And then we found the gladiator.

I'll interject here and say that you can find some weird-ass shit in cities. Every city, probably. But I think New York City has a higher quantity or density of said weirdness. I've seen Times Square's Naked Cowboy and the Silver and Gold Machine Men. I've seen the Native American Pipers and Scottish Bagpipers in full highland garb. I've seen Spider-Man. I've seen musicians and break dancers on subways. Anyone who's been to New York has seen sights like these. But this was different.

[ profile] perkyczarlet mistakenly called him a gladiator, having caught a glimpse of a tanned body and some metallic-looking gear under a tunnel. Curious, we stepped up to the railing and looked down at the roadway beneath us. Under the tunnel we could see the gentleman in question, but it was dark, and we were in the light, and there wasn't enough illumination to fully glimpse his majesty. And then he stepped out of the darkness and posed. He was dressed in, as far as I could tell, an Incan headdress and loincloth ([ profile] perkyczarlet inferred that he wasn't wearing much, if anything, under said golden-hued cloth), with some minor chest trappings and sandals and anklets that jingled. He carried a violin. Half of the violin appeared to have been burned, or at least charred, making it half-brown half-black.

Then the music started. And he danced. And he played the violin. Dancing, violining, twirling so his ankle jingly things jingled. Spinning so that his loincloth flew. The feathers on his big Incan headdress fluttered as he moved. It was surreal. But lo, he did not stop there. He began to sing. Opera, as far as I could tell. Quite a falsetto on that gentleman. Singing, Stringing, Spinning. [ profile] perkyczarlet tried to get a picture with her Treo, but the Inca in question strategically did his performance just out of the light, so that with the sun's glare she could get no more than a silhouette or a few body parts into a picture.

As she later remarked, "That was the weirdest thing I have ever seen in New York. Ever."

I'm hard-pressed to disagree with her.
This weekend we had a LAN party. If you don't know what that means, don't even read this entry, and go watch this.

Now that you've been suitably forewarned... )
The Quiz wants you all! Heed its call!

Right. Obligatory commercial out of the way. On to the juicy bits.

19-day workweek: Finally over. That was good, as my body was on the verge of calling it quits, and I was tired and cranky and irritable, and I hadn't seen my housemates in days on end. I mentioned this all in my previous post. I did forget to offer a hearty thank you to [ profile] katieledge, whose hospitality gave me a little extra rest during those critical days, and to [ profile] ladybugbutt and [ profile] fizrep, whose phone calls helped keep my mind clear during certain moments.

I took a day off of work to rest, but more importantly to get to my karate class on time. Going back to teaching karate again is good because A) I like doing it, B) I like the people there, and C) I need the exercise because my tummy's all soft and flabby. Good thing too, because, as I expected, getting there involved driving through the remnants of Hurricane Somethingorother. This made a 45-minute journey take 130 minutes. ANGER!!!!

To add to that, somewhere in the middle of driving through a torrential downpour, a spider crawled across the inside of my windshield. Good self-control made me not crash. Unfortunately, the spider is still there somewhere. Most unacceptable.

And, finally, there appears to be an infestation of fruit flies in our office. What the fuck is up with that?

Now it's time to relax and look forward to what October has to offer. LAN party for Oct. 8-10: all the Rise Of Nations, Age Of Mythology, Diablo II, and Unreal Tournament 2004 we can muster. This is not for the faint of heart! You have been forewarned. After that, birthdays for my lovely housemates, Chiller Theater, and some other stuff. Man, when did I get all busy and shit?
With one nineteen-day workweek concluded last Friday, I had the opportunity to enjoy the weekend as a weekend as opposed to an extension of my working hours, which is less fun.

How The Work Week Ended )
Cut Because I'm Telling Another Long Story )

And, as a token reminder, the [ profile] ljdq has a new quiz up. Everyone who's played so far has helped contribute to the funnyness. We love you all. Keep on playing! Tell your friends! Tell your friends' friends! Rock On!
The freedom to just up and take days off of work because you need some extra time is something I now realize I can't live without. If my job ever realized this, I'd be so completely owned, because I will never quit, even if I get demoted to official toilet scrubber. For 30+ paid vacation days a year, damn straight I'll scrub toilets.

Anyway, that's beside the point, as always.

The Adventure Begins Here )
once again, alcohol takes command o the sensesa and I write a meesssage for you all in somewhatat less that completel sobrietey. Woot.

For bmy birthday I did nothing exceptional. but today I made up for it by partying down like no tomorrworow. Thank you to my roomonatates who made this party possible. mmmm, party.

lots of people werew here. some brought igggifts. some brought alsocohol. all wa sgood.. Lauried daanced around in her undergarments. that was funnky. others came right now they;r dotormenting sleeping people because its funny. ahehee. lots of fucked up pictures have been takedn tonight. it's all bad. good thing i dont know how to imagelink or stuff becaues that would make some funny pics online. and movies dottoto too. but tha's up to deinemuse to link up. I can't hyperlink right now. too complex

much was drunk. much happened. can't rclall it all right now. but we have quotes o the night, from so far as now. now is 3:30 am. earlier was earlier. so that;s before now.

"Anna, who;s the crack whore who blew hersel up?" - Se Sue

"I'm a bejeweeled mohterfucker." - Stacy

"Is that all vodka?
"Well, I suppose some of the ice melted." - Tym/Hans

"Look, I blew a Smurf!" - Stacy

"This vacuum cleaner will satisfy me. " - Stacy

I'm sure more wuqutoes were made, and will be made. Hoh wyeah, Laurie was raped by montecore. hes a big stuffed tiger.


ass intyms face. he like that a lot. drinking. everythign's sideways.

see you alll altera later.

So this weekend, the Hive had its traditional Mardi Gras party. "Traditional" might not be the most appropriate word, since our first Mardi Gras party was last year, but since we're displaying foresight and anticipating future similarly-themed parties, we can predict the onset of tradition. We're clever like that.

Friday: Foreshadowings of Ominous Portent )

Saturday: Chili of Impressive Magnitude )

Saturday: Evening of Unmentionable Activity )

Sunday: Morning of Silent Trauma )
Another year come and gone; another week of partying gone by. For everyone who wanted to see me and didn't, sorry 'bout that. For everyone who didn't want to see me and did, sorry 'bout that too, but not quite as much. For everyone who didn't really care, what are you reading this for exactly anyway? Oh yes, I forgot. Funny stories.

What Happened On New Years Eve? Some Stuff... )

And now, for my benefit, I took an extra week off of work, just for kicks. Because I can.
So, this weekend we had a party. Well, someone else had a party, which we (several folks including [profile] marasca, [profile] llasram, [personal profile] chrysoberyl, and [profile] fizrep) attended. Something like that. In any event, as occasionally (read: always) happens at our parties, there was some (read: lots of) drinking involved. Most of which involved [profile] lizature's favorite substance, Hard Liquor.

Hard Liquor Is Fun. Making Drinks Is Fun. Partying With Us Is Fun. 'Nuff Said. )

Forget the lame story. Here's drink recipes! )
Well, despite the best efforts of the rain gods, the show went on. No fireworks, just party. Thanks to everyone who braved the torrential downpours to stop by for a bit!

Among the highlights: Emily and [profile] thereject brought a cake which can only be described as a Boston Creme donut at quadruple scale. It terrifies me, yet it's so sweet and tasty...

Quotes of the day: "Ewww, it's like a big old donut." - Trish
"I can have some of your pie." - Emily, to [profile] fizrep

[profile] fizrep attempted to teach 2-yr-old Anna Marie how to say "Satan". His date slapped him.

Quote of the (next) day: "Wait, Tym, you actually had a DATE?" - Trish

Larry, [profile] fizrep and [profile] thereject were enthralled by the Dismount style games, Truck Dismount and Stair Dismount. For anyone who thinks that American video games are laden with violence, please take some time to visit Finland, which is responsible for these two works of entertainment.

[profile] lizature once again did the Spider Freakout Dance as she was surrounded by them on the banisters downstairs. Cheeky spiders; thought the rain had washed them all away. Who knew... Too bad, no fireworks though. No sizzle sizzle.

[profile] ghostwriterxx and [profile] deinemuse brought brownies. Fat fuck that I am, I've eaten them all. End of story. (EDIT: [profile] lizature brought yummy cookies. I ate those too. Emily and [profile] thereject brought different cookies. By tonight, I will have finished them as well.)

Someone broke out my karate videos, in particular the one where my pants fall down. Curses.

Refrigerator magnet quotes of the day: "Pound your vulgar man-fluff together." - Anonymous
"She yonders up." - Anonymous (is yonder even a verb? I think not...)
"The languid measure of a flood, drunk as a lazy puppy." - Poetic, so most likely Emily

And for an unbiased review of the party, here is what [profile] thereject had to say.

Back to the workweek. The weather is sunny and clear. God fucking dammit.
Final party update: Excess rain has cancelled the fireworks. :-( Now I have to rely on my charming personality to convince people to show up to this party. That's much harder than shiny explosions. But I did agree to [profile] ghostwriterxx that we could douse [profile] fizrep in Bacardi 151 and light him up. That should do in a pinch.

Anyway, everyone is still welcome. Drinks and food and mayhem will abound. Somehow.

That being said... it would seem that my old buddies Thor, Zeus, and Raiden have been playing this drinking game called "Let's Dump A Shitload Of Thunderstorms On New Jersey This Week." And, true to their divine personalities, they've been playing it well. Apparently this game might go into overtime for the weekend, which would make me a cranky panda because, hell, who wants to watch fireworks when the sky itself has opened up the floodgates from which the great Deluge once poured.

So, everyone start offering sacrifices to your favorite weather god and ask for nice weather all day Saturday. It's in all our best interests!

Should there be monsoons in the area at the time, the party will still run; it will simply be confined to the indoors and most likely lack fireworks. I will forgive you if you decide not to make the drive in a torrential downpour... maybe. It depends on how well you grovel.
Yes, it's another fun-filled action-packed explosive party adventure at Casa Del Hans, where I plan to eat, drink, make merry, and enjoy pyrotechnics with anyone else who wants to do the same. Those of you who saw them last time know that they're a pretty good show. Those of you who missed them last time should try again this time. Those of you who were all hung over before the party last time, settle down, drink less the night before, and then the fireworks won't resonate in your cranium as badly.

This month's explosive extravaganza is held in honor of the Assumption of Mary, which I believe was when she assumed that guy was telling the truth about being an angel and then impregnating her with the "son of god". I can't believe women fell for that trick back then. It never works for me.

And with the official heretical commentary out of the way, onward to specifics!

The date- Saturday, 9 August 2003

The time- Starting around 7:00 pm, explosions generally start somewhere between 10:30 and 11:00 pm, party ends whenever the party ends.

The place- Here. If you don't know where "here" is, email me (I'm chaosvizier on hotmail) and I'll send you directions. Don't trust mapquest; poor [profile] ariellynn fell to its evil spell and got lost barely a mile away last time.

The people- You. If you can read this, then you're invited. If you have a friend/SO/designated driver, they're invited too. If you have an army of friends, give me a heads up.

Other stuff- I will provide beverages, including a special hard liquor section devoted solely to [profile] lizature. If my honoured guests would be kind enough to donate some small token of munchies, it would be appreciated, since I have no kitchen skills whatsoever that extend beyond bartending and using my microwave god.

Hope to see everyone there. I will have cleared out all traces of spiderweb in advance. Why? See here for more details.

Big Bang

Jul. 20th, 2003 10:15 pm
Thanks to everyone who came by for food and drinks and fireworks, even if half the cast was hungover from previous nights. Good party weekend, in my book... Thanks also to [profile] lizature and Emily (who doesn't have an LJ yet, but should) for helping clean up various messy portions of the kitchen. [profile] lizature also provided the kind service of setting all spiderwebs in the area on fire, just to be sure.

[profile] ariellynn- I'm so sorry you got lost. Stupid mapquest sucks balls. You were so damn close, too. IOU one party.

Tune in next month when Our Lady Of The Heavy Artillery sets off even more fireworks in honor of Mary, Virgin Mother of the Stinger Missile.

And, for the record...

Quotes of the Day:
"Dude, what's in this? It's good! It's drunky!" - [profile] marasca
"Fuck a turnip!" - [personal profile] chaosvizier
"Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle!" = [profile] lizature

Non-Sequitur of the Day:
"I don't eat Chinese food, but I do forget about people on the side of the road." - [profile] lizature

Refrigerator Magnet Comments of the Day:
"I eat butt smear." - I think I saw [profile] ghostwriterxx making that one
"Seek my gorgeous pink place with a pleasing codpiece." - [profile] fizrep, definitely
"Rip your sweet ripe peach with my purple apparatus." - unknown; I'll blame [profile] halcyon7, just for kicks.
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