The subject line really has nothing to do with this post at all. Just rambling on about things that I've done recently. Things that are fun and different, as opposed to normal everyday things like poopin'.

Part 1: I <3 V-Day. No wait, I <3 alcohol. That makes much more sense. )

Part 2: Sports? Moi? Of course not, why do you ask? )

Part 3: See-Saw. That's a terrible pun that I just thought of. I should not be proud, and yet I totally am. You'll see why in a second. )

Epilogue: How to make alcohol better. )
To lead into today's movie review, I have to throw in some background on what happened before that.

Basically, the New York Food Festival was this weekend, and my wonderful partner in crime HG got us tickets to go. This is because I love food, and where better to satisfy my gluttonous cravings than at a festival dedicated in its entirety to tasty morsels?

Two important facts to digest: first, make no mistake, there is a substantial amount of food involved at this event. So much so that even at my most omnivorous I have a hard time sampling every last tidbit that is offered. This does not stop me from trying, nor does it stop me from thinking "if I puke now, I'll have more room for the rest of the festival..." more than once. I do not take that drastic step, mostly because I want to see what incredible farts my gastrointestinal system will produce when the hodgepodge of comestibles finally blend within my belly.

Secondly, "Food Festival" is a gross misnomer. This really should be the "New York Alcohol Festival, With Some Food Thrown In To Keep You Moderately Sober". As we waited in line for our round, a large number of attendees were leaving in what could be described as not merely a state, but rather an entire country, of inebriation. And I am convinced that a good two-thirds of the display tables in the festival were devoted to wines and spirits. This also says something, if the remaining one-third of the tables were enough to fill my belly. Make no mistake; the festival is huge. And drinking most certainly did occur.

So, for the better part of three hours, HG and I explored every inch of the festival, tasting samples, picking up recipes, and drinking. This year we were smart and made sure to keep hydrated during the festival; last year we came out of there utterly tanked and completely wiped out. This year our stamina was of higher fare, and we decided to go to a movie to relax and recover. What better movie to choose after such a delicious outing, you might ask?

Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs

Could I get more hungry after the afternoon's consumption? Amazingly, yes. )
So here I am, sipping vodka out of a skull...

Ok, let's start at the beginning. )
Today is Sunday.

Today I am at work. I have been here since 10 am. It is now 7:37 pm.

Yesterday, which was Saturday, I was ato wrok from noon to 10:00 pm.

However, all is not horror. Two thrings have made this day better.

First off, we've been drinking wine since about 5 pm. Mmm, Yellowtail. Despite my general disinterest in red wines, after a hard Sunday's worth of work, sure, even wine feels pretty damn good.

Second off, despite the dedious drudgery of my work day, I was amused by [ profile] fizrep's recounting of his considerably more bizarro workday.

Hell, I'll add three and four here.

Thirdly, this guy's last name is Dikheel. Huh huh, dick heel, huh huh.

Fourthy, my spelling is execrable today. Except that I can spell execrable.
Because we're slow, we decided to celebrate Halloween a few days late. Hey, when the holiday's on a Tuesday, what can you do?

And there was a party, And the changing of garments, And hijinks most wacky, And it was Good in the eyes of the Mirror God. )
As I mentioned yesterday, this past weekend there was a wedding.

Now I'll tell the tale of the actual wedding. )
So... it's a New Year. And like any New Year, it should start off with a bang.

Well, alright, this was two weeks ago and all that. I'm slow. Sue me. )
Last Friday we were accosted by ninjas.

Segue into obvious story here. )


Jul. 29th, 2004 04:52 pm
I like Coke better than Pepsi.
I like Rum and Pepsi better than Rum and Coke.
I like Vanilla Coke better than Vanilla Pepsi.
I like Vanilla Rum and Coke the same as Vanilla Rum and Pepsi.
I like Vanilla Rum and Vanilla Coke more than Vanilla Rum and Vanilla Pepsi.
I like Coconut Rum and Coke the same as Coconut Rum and Pepsi.
I like Lemon Pepsi better than Lemon Coke.
I like Cherry Coke better than Cherry Pepsi.

What the fuck is up with human taste buds anyway?

[Edit: Diet, yeeeeeech. I ain't goin' back there.]
once again, alcohol takes command o the sensesa and I write a meesssage for you all in somewhatat less that completel sobrietey. Woot.

For bmy birthday I did nothing exceptional. but today I made up for it by partying down like no tomorrworow. Thank you to my roomonatates who made this party possible. mmmm, party.

lots of people werew here. some brought igggifts. some brought alsocohol. all wa sgood.. Lauried daanced around in her undergarments. that was funnky. others came right now they;r dotormenting sleeping people because its funny. ahehee. lots of fucked up pictures have been takedn tonight. it's all bad. good thing i dont know how to imagelink or stuff becaues that would make some funny pics online. and movies dottoto too. but tha's up to deinemuse to link up. I can't hyperlink right now. too complex

much was drunk. much happened. can't rclall it all right now. but we have quotes o the night, from so far as now. now is 3:30 am. earlier was earlier. so that;s before now.

"Anna, who;s the crack whore who blew hersel up?" - Se Sue

"I'm a bejeweeled mohterfucker." - Stacy

"Is that all vodka?
"Well, I suppose some of the ice melted." - Tym/Hans

"Look, I blew a Smurf!" - Stacy

"This vacuum cleaner will satisfy me. " - Stacy

I'm sure more wuqutoes were made, and will be made. Hoh wyeah, Laurie was raped by montecore. hes a big stuffed tiger.


ass intyms face. he like that a lot. drinking. everythign's sideways.

see you alll altera later.

drunken ramplblings ensue )
So this weekend, the Hive had its traditional Mardi Gras party. "Traditional" might not be the most appropriate word, since our first Mardi Gras party was last year, but since we're displaying foresight and anticipating future similarly-themed parties, we can predict the onset of tradition. We're clever like that.

Friday: Foreshadowings of Ominous Portent )

Saturday: Chili of Impressive Magnitude )

Saturday: Evening of Unmentionable Activity )

Sunday: Morning of Silent Trauma )
Another year come and gone; another week of partying gone by. For everyone who wanted to see me and didn't, sorry 'bout that. For everyone who didn't want to see me and did, sorry 'bout that too, but not quite as much. For everyone who didn't really care, what are you reading this for exactly anyway? Oh yes, I forgot. Funny stories.

What Happened On New Years Eve? Some Stuff... )

And now, for my benefit, I took an extra week off of work, just for kicks. Because I can.
So, this weekend we had a party. Well, someone else had a party, which we (several folks including [profile] marasca, [profile] llasram, [personal profile] chrysoberyl, and [profile] fizrep) attended. Something like that. In any event, as occasionally (read: always) happens at our parties, there was some (read: lots of) drinking involved. Most of which involved [profile] lizature's favorite substance, Hard Liquor.

Hard Liquor Is Fun. Making Drinks Is Fun. Partying With Us Is Fun. 'Nuff Said. )

Forget the lame story. Here's drink recipes! )
Much as the legendary General MacArthur said he would, I have returned from my grand sojourn out west. I know you all missed me terribly.

First things first: Happy belated birthday to [profile] ghostwriterxx, [profile] angledge, and Clayton ([personal profile] chrysoberyl, you can tell him that for me).

What, you might ask, could have happened in five days of travel? I know the question gnaws at you, and I am here to satisfy your curiosity. So read on in wonderment and awe, as my chilling tale unfolds before you!

Thursday: Wherein The Horrors Of Flight Are Revealed To Our Heroes )

Friday: On The Nature Of Pie, Sushi, Anally Fixated Golf Courses, And Music Lyrics )

Saturday: In Which Horses Are Named, Balls Struck, And Vows Made. )

Sunday: Regarding The Wonders Of Mother Nature )

Monday: Wherein Our Heroes Return From Whence They Came, Albeit Fatter )
You would be too drunk to even realize who you are.
You would think it's funny and laugh at almost
everything that's said to you or done. Your
friends may find it funny and pull a prank on
you like maybe place a tattoo that says
"loser" on the back of your neck.
You're the type of person who's wild and crazy
and likes to have, what you call, a good time.
Have fun, but be careful though.

If You Were to Get Drunk, What Kind of Drunk Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla
Although the workweek is not yet over, I'll spend this entry telling stories about yesterday because, well, yesterday was eventful.

Okay, they're really just boring work stories. Go visit one of my earlier journal entries, maybe the one where I contemplated the value of pie.

War Without End )

Consume Mass Quantities )

Best. Reception. Ever. (part I) )

Best. Reception. Ever. (part II) )

And that was my day. Today I'm sleepy and hungry. Again.
I like to write. No, scratch that. I love to write. Writing is fun. This is not to say that I'm good at it, as this LJ comment aptly demonstrates; it just means I like to do it. Kinda like me singing... but that's a whole different nightmare which we won't go into at this particular moment.

I would love to walk into a bookstore and see a book on a shelf for sale with my name listed as the author. I don't care if no one buys it. It's there. It's published. I'm only half-way there, with some writing credit given in a computer game (okay, shameless self-promotion for Master Of Orion III, which unfortunately wasn't a great computer game, but hell, enough people bought it, which means enough people read my stuff, and fuck it, I'll feed my ego here just for kicks).

But more even than that, I would like to write something on the lines of this story, which was so goddam funny that everyone who read it on that forum immediately told all their friends about it, and those people told others, and all of a sudden a million people all over the internet read this incredibly hilarious tale of how evil blimps can be. That is my true goal in life.

Since neither of the above incidents has happened yet, I'll head off to my next goal, which would be to drink this entire bottle of chocolate chip cookie cream liquor, because it's so goddam tasty. If anyone would like to donate their liver to my cause, I'd be grateful. Not yours, [profile] fizrep; it's probably worse than mine.
Well, despite the best efforts of the rain gods, the show went on. No fireworks, just party. Thanks to everyone who braved the torrential downpours to stop by for a bit!

Among the highlights: Emily and [profile] thereject brought a cake which can only be described as a Boston Creme donut at quadruple scale. It terrifies me, yet it's so sweet and tasty...

Quotes of the day: "Ewww, it's like a big old donut." - Trish
"I can have some of your pie." - Emily, to [profile] fizrep

[profile] fizrep attempted to teach 2-yr-old Anna Marie how to say "Satan". His date slapped him.

Quote of the (next) day: "Wait, Tym, you actually had a DATE?" - Trish

Larry, [profile] fizrep and [profile] thereject were enthralled by the Dismount style games, Truck Dismount and Stair Dismount. For anyone who thinks that American video games are laden with violence, please take some time to visit Finland, which is responsible for these two works of entertainment.

[profile] lizature once again did the Spider Freakout Dance as she was surrounded by them on the banisters downstairs. Cheeky spiders; thought the rain had washed them all away. Who knew... Too bad, no fireworks though. No sizzle sizzle.

[profile] ghostwriterxx and [profile] deinemuse brought brownies. Fat fuck that I am, I've eaten them all. End of story. (EDIT: [profile] lizature brought yummy cookies. I ate those too. Emily and [profile] thereject brought different cookies. By tonight, I will have finished them as well.)

Someone broke out my karate videos, in particular the one where my pants fall down. Curses.

Refrigerator magnet quotes of the day: "Pound your vulgar man-fluff together." - Anonymous
"She yonders up." - Anonymous (is yonder even a verb? I think not...)
"The languid measure of a flood, drunk as a lazy puppy." - Poetic, so most likely Emily

And for an unbiased review of the party, here is what [profile] thereject had to say.

Back to the workweek. The weather is sunny and clear. God fucking dammit.
Alcoholicious Survey, This Way )



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