Ok, after a month of crazy work time with lots of fun stuff and awesome stuff and crazy stuff (got a pic with the President, met Kal Penn for official business, and chilled with awesome folks from the Pacific), I needed to do something fun and relaxing. And rest assured, the New Yord Food And Wine Festival, sponsored by the Food Network, served that need more than adequately by providing exactly what its name implied, in great quantities. Far be it from me to pass up Food and/or Wine, and so there we go.

Beware: gluttony follows. )
To lead into today's movie review, I have to throw in some background on what happened before that.

Basically, the New York Food Festival was this weekend, and my wonderful partner in crime HG got us tickets to go. This is because I love food, and where better to satisfy my gluttonous cravings than at a festival dedicated in its entirety to tasty morsels?

Two important facts to digest: first, make no mistake, there is a substantial amount of food involved at this event. So much so that even at my most omnivorous I have a hard time sampling every last tidbit that is offered. This does not stop me from trying, nor does it stop me from thinking "if I puke now, I'll have more room for the rest of the festival..." more than once. I do not take that drastic step, mostly because I want to see what incredible farts my gastrointestinal system will produce when the hodgepodge of comestibles finally blend within my belly.

Secondly, "Food Festival" is a gross misnomer. This really should be the "New York Alcohol Festival, With Some Food Thrown In To Keep You Moderately Sober". As we waited in line for our round, a large number of attendees were leaving in what could be described as not merely a state, but rather an entire country, of inebriation. And I am convinced that a good two-thirds of the display tables in the festival were devoted to wines and spirits. This also says something, if the remaining one-third of the tables were enough to fill my belly. Make no mistake; the festival is huge. And drinking most certainly did occur.

So, for the better part of three hours, HG and I explored every inch of the festival, tasting samples, picking up recipes, and drinking. This year we were smart and made sure to keep hydrated during the festival; last year we came out of there utterly tanked and completely wiped out. This year our stamina was of higher fare, and we decided to go to a movie to relax and recover. What better movie to choose after such a delicious outing, you might ask?

Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs

Could I get more hungry after the afternoon's consumption? Amazingly, yes. )
So here I am, sipping vodka out of a skull...

Ok, let's start at the beginning. )
Goddam if I am not right now drinking the greatest gin ever made. Martin Millar's London Dry Gin kicks all kinds of ass. It smells like proper gin and tonic straight out of the bottle, and it's smoother than every other gin I've ever tasted. This gin is so smooth it should have been called Baby's Ass Gin. But then I might not have bought it.
Back from vacation. Back at work. Such is our tale of tragedy and woe.

But it will be a tale told later, in which such questions might be answered:

1) Sheesh, does Britain not yet have the Intarwebs?
2) Is driving in England tantamount to self-destruction?
3) Do people really sound like Dangermouse?
4) Black Pudding- is it really all that bad? Or black?
5) Is this truly the country that has mastered the gin and tonic?

You know, I'll save you the trouble and answer that last question right now. Here is a picture taken in Sainesbury's (the nation's supermarket chain of choice):

It's gin and tonic in a can. Like a soda, or a beer. But gin and tonic. INCONCEIVABLE!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Gin and tonic, canned for ease of use and consumption. Truly, Britain is a magical land.

Like I said, more later, after I catch up from work. BONZAI!
As I mentioned yesterday, this past weekend there was a wedding.

Now I'll tell the tale of the actual wedding. )
So... it's a New Year. And like any New Year, it should start off with a bang.

Well, alright, this was two weeks ago and all that. I'm slow. Sue me. )
It may come as a shock to some of you, but I am, for the most part, an uncultured swine when it comes to the cinema. Why waste precious neurons contemplating the heavy issues of existence and civilization when I can burn calories cheering as Arnold Schwarzenegger uses gratuitous amounts of force to devastate entire nations? The answer is obvious. Nonetheless, despite this propensity for "bad" movies, I do on occasion encounter something of the more artistic and/or cultured variety. So here goes!

Sideways

This film has no explosions, no ninjas, and no killing. What's wrong here? Ah, rampant alcohol use. That's ok then. )
once again, alcohol takes command o the sensesa and I write a meesssage for you all in somewhatat less that completel sobrietey. Woot.

For bmy birthday I did nothing exceptional. but today I made up for it by partying down like no tomorrworow. Thank you to my roomonatates who made this party possible. mmmm, party.

lots of people werew here. some brought igggifts. some brought alsocohol. all wa sgood.. Lauried daanced around in her undergarments. that was funnky. others came right now they;r dotormenting sleeping people because its funny. ahehee. lots of fucked up pictures have been takedn tonight. it's all bad. good thing i dont know how to imagelink or stuff becaues that would make some funny pics online. and movies dottoto too. but tha's up to deinemuse to link up. I can't hyperlink right now. too complex

much was drunk. much happened. can't rclall it all right now. but we have quotes o the night, from so far as now. now is 3:30 am. earlier was earlier. so that;s before now.

"Anna, who;s the crack whore who blew hersel up?" - Se Sue

"I'm a bejeweeled mohterfucker." - Stacy

"Is that all vodka?
"Well, I suppose some of the ice melted." - Tym/Hans

"Look, I blew a Smurf!" - Stacy

"This vacuum cleaner will satisfy me. " - Stacy

I'm sure more wuqutoes were made, and will be made. Hoh wyeah, Laurie was raped by montecore. hes a big stuffed tiger.

orgy

ass intyms face. he like that a lot. drinking. everythign's sideways.

see you alll altera later.

HGG
So this weekend, the Hive had its traditional Mardi Gras party. "Traditional" might not be the most appropriate word, since our first Mardi Gras party was last year, but since we're displaying foresight and anticipating future similarly-themed parties, we can predict the onset of tradition. We're clever like that.

Friday: Foreshadowings of Ominous Portent )

Saturday: Chili of Impressive Magnitude )

Saturday: Evening of Unmentionable Activity )

Sunday: Morning of Silent Trauma )
Another year come and gone; another week of partying gone by. For everyone who wanted to see me and didn't, sorry 'bout that. For everyone who didn't want to see me and did, sorry 'bout that too, but not quite as much. For everyone who didn't really care, what are you reading this for exactly anyway? Oh yes, I forgot. Funny stories.

What Happened On New Years Eve? Some Stuff... )

And now, for my benefit, I took an extra week off of work, just for kicks. Because I can.
[profile] deinemuse summed up most of our Tavern On The Green experience here, including a nice review of the joint and the food and the atmosphere. Right. What she said. We had a nice evening, which as always was highlighted by certain brilliant snippets of dialogue like... well, this:

Quote of the Day:
"There were a lot of pheasants outside, and they would get together and shoot them." - [profile] fizrep
"Oh, like servants?" - [profile] ghostwriterxx

The real point was, being that I got there early and they got there late, I ended up sitting at the bar drinking strong gin and tonics for 35 minutes.

A Brief Treatise On The Nature Of Gin And Tonics )

On the other hand, instead of gin, some people chose to have something simpler.

Quote of the Day:
"What kind of tea would you like?" - Sultan (yes, the waiter's name was Sultan)
(looking at proferred box of tea) "What, do I have to guess?" - [profile] ghostwriterxx

She was on fire that night, I must say. Sultan probably went back to his homeland and cursed, "By the many arms of Vishnu, that American girl is being making me very angry, oh yes indeed!"

Much better when people bring you tea, though, instead of having to make it yourself, I suppose...

Tea? Don't Mind If I Do... )

[profile] culturecouture, we're going to have to show them how real cooking is done.

I'd write a movie review here for Ju-On, but I can't, because I'm still not entirely sure what the hell was going on during the film. On the other hand, I can at least confirm that it was kinda creepy. The Japanese can make some pretty fucked-up horror films. Plus, it reaffirms my belief that movies with creepy-ass children are the scariest. This movie was subtitled for [profile] djdysfunction's viewing pleasure.

This week is also Thanksgiving, in which we celebrate the slaughter of millions of noble turkeys (and ignoble soybeans, for those tofurkey eaters out there) with a feast of colossal proportions. Now, [profile] mrmustard has commented on the nature of Thanksgiving in extreme detail here and here. He has great wisdom. I, on the other hand, focus exclusively on four words: "EAT A BIG MEAL" (which can be anagrammed to say "MA, I BEAT A LEG!"). Okay, and four other words: "DAY OFF OF WORK."

Pilgrims And Allah Are My Friends... )
So, this weekend we had a party. Well, someone else had a party, which we (several folks including [profile] marasca, [profile] llasram, [personal profile] chrysoberyl, and [profile] fizrep) attended. Something like that. In any event, as occasionally (read: always) happens at our parties, there was some (read: lots of) drinking involved. Most of which involved [profile] lizature's favorite substance, Hard Liquor.

Hard Liquor Is Fun. Making Drinks Is Fun. Partying With Us Is Fun. 'Nuff Said. )


Forget the lame story. Here's drink recipes! )
So, the overall alcoholic tally for the past four days sees me sacrificing yet another substantial percentage of viable liver tissue for fun and sinning. Oh well.

(edited 10 Jul 03 for my reference)

And so it begins... )

It continues here... )

Even more here... )

Does it never end? )
What to say? The resurrection of the tradition of having Memorial Day weekend down in DC at [profile] marasca's parents' house was a good thing. Traditions should not be broken.

It was good to see Kodos again. Especially since he's getting married soon, which means he will never be seen again by his friends. Marriage does that, and I find it extremely annoying. What exactly is wrong with spouses having friends and being permitted to see them? Grraaarhghg!! I won't rant here, but it grates on me, having to sit by and watch an extremely good friend vanish off the horizon, never to be seen again.

[profile] angledge did not sufficiently describe the horror of our Secret Alcoholic Santa night, so I'll elaborate. The SAS plan was as follows: Every attendee at the party would bring some kind of alcoholic beverage that was different, new, unheard of, or otherwise previously unknown to the rest of the party. These drinks would be matched against each other to see how they rated. We had three categories, but only two got hit before the horror dominated our souls.

In terms of aesthetics, Kodiak won hands down with his bottle that was shaped like an easter island head. Funny. That was the easy contest. The taste testing was less so.

The easter island head was the second-worst tasting item on the menu. It rated a "Holy Fuck!" on a scale of one to ten. [profile] angledge provided the winner with little Kahlua coolers in three flavors. These coolers would soon prove to be invaluable, as [profile] fizrep offered his mystery treat: a bottle of sugar cane-based alcohol entitled Pitu. It was from Brazil. It had a big red prawnish lobster thing on the label. The smell made even Peace Corps volunteers blanch in disgust. These should all have been clues. But we, troopers that we are, continued with the tasting.

I have tasted some foul crap in my time. The vileness of Jaegermeister is legendary, standing with its colleagues Ouzo and Sambuca. But Pitu made them all its bitches with its unique interpretation of "taste bud stimulation." Kodiak wore his unmistakable Sad Face after sipping. Kodos the Microbiologist grimaced and took notes, no doubt for some future lab work that will earn him a doctorate. [profile] fizrep spat up his own donation in the sink. I could not make it through a quarter shot before gagging. The Kahlua coolers served well in the role of tasty chasers that purged the ungodly taint of Pitu from our burning tongues.

Needless to say, that donation got last place.

Secret Alcoholic Santa was, nonetheless, an interesting game. We'll have to remember this for future parties.

Other activities of note: Pictionary's 15th anniversary edition contains a "challenge die" to add spice to a routine game of Pictionary. This die does indeed enhance the game by a good margin, forcing players to sometimes draw with their eyes closes, without lifting their pencils from the paper, two drawings in the same time, or (the most challenging, IMHO) with their off-hand. [profile] fizrep and I think this might neutralize our normal Pictionary skills. Experimentation is in order.

Touring Washington, D.C. has taken on new and interesting twists. Having not been there since 11 September 2001, I did not consider new and improved security measures being in effect in the museums. So, like a complete dumbass, I carry my Swiss Army Knife (the most dangerous weapon on the face of the planet, let me tell you) into the city. In the words of the Lawnmower Man, "Access Denied!" Lame. Super lame.

Word of the Weekend: CHON
Second Word of the Weekend: Ziggubelisk

Quote of the Day (fri): "It's like aromatherapy for my liver!" - [profile] fizrep
Quote of the Day (sat): "Oooo... it tastes like a fat guy's pants in here!" - [personal profile] chaosvizier
How boooooring.
Okay, all joking aside, here's a clarification. I'm honestly not drunk that often. The ten previous evenings are really an unheard-of situation. Not since New Years on Y2K have I had a drinking extravaganza like that. So, rest assured, I'm back to civility and rational thought for the moment.

...
...

Fuck this. Whiskey bottle, be my bitch!

See that? That's a joke. Anyone who knew me would know that I HATE whiskey.

Anyway, today is Tuesday the 13th. In some Central/Latin American cultures, that's the unlucky day, like our Friday the 13th. And that's our cultural fact of the day.

Quote of the day: "Don't slap my pulp!" - Asia

Holy fuck

May. 11th, 2003 02:54 am
ok, so to conclude the week and more of adurknking drunkneesss thqt ive been going through. tonight was the epitome of funny and booze. We obviously (kodiak, [profile] fizrep and mea) drank a olott, inlding double dstrenght dflaoming doctor peppers. but that 's beside the point.
we just laughe d our asses off. I mean laughed. I mean it wais 4:34 on the clocek wehn we started laughting, and now it's t5;11 and we're still kind achukcing . funny.
Why? I dunno. something was said, and then I said "Oh, look, Larry has his sad face on." why i s that funny> shouldn't be to sober people, but we aren ot sober people right now. So, it wa sfunny. Helluv afunny. Man, I have not sp[ace bar coordination skills. Chemistry is ingrained in my shit. I even know right now that alcohol is c2h5oh. I'm fucking smart.
ddsasfddd
fuck, my tumm y hurst from looking laught ing that hard.
look at [profile] fizrep's journl entry, i[m sure he said somethign funny too because he's drukner than a shitbu g right now. Like me!11!!!! Fuck.


Edit: This is a later addition from sobriety.
Quote Of The Day (sat): "So I was just sitting there, and I said to myself, 'Chupacopticus'". - Kodos
That's right, somehow, for yet another night, I have drunka some stuff. I'm on the water circuti now but before that was gin and tonics and flaming dr pepper s and some shots of apfel schnapps. There was somet otheoh other thing there too. Oh yeah, Hesperides. Woot, I speeld that right. Anyway, that, and some other stuff. Can't remember it all, but I'm kinda wasted now. Perhaps not so good, since Have to get up in about six hours for a karate thing. I'll be sober by the thhen I'm sure. It's only six hors plenty of time to get sobered up. Water glass, you're b my only friend. [profile] fizrep is alreay owned. Kodiak isn't yet. Nuit went to bed. Preggers chicks are so boring, wont' drink with us al at all. lame! But we did rub the genie labmp. Fetal Genie says "No Action For You!!!!!" Stupid fetal genie.

Quote of the day: "He got drunk and passed out. Just like all of Kirsten's boyfriends." - Someone.
Can I be drunk another night in a row? Why yes, I think I can!
So, our boss had a housewarming party this evening. Her apartment is on the 33rd floor of a fancy-ass apartment on the East Side of Manhattan, and the view is sweetness. It probably costs my yearly salary every month to rent this place. Fuck. Anyway, it was nice, and she fed us lots of good food and drink. I'm all wined up now. Sobering up slowly, thanks to a nice walk home, but still. Under the influence, as the police might say.
Tune in tomorrow when the Hive arrives and things really get out of hand. Check out all our Majesty!

Quote of the day: "Nice dress. Can I help you out of it?" - [personal profile] chaosvizier
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