May. 26th, 2015

Decades later, the Mad Max series returns to the big screen with a big action-packed something (sequel? remake? other?) to remind us that, even years in the future, Australia is still 99% made of things that want to kill you.

Mad Max: Fury Road

There's only one road ever visible in this movie, so I guess that's Fury Road, just off of Anger Avenue and Pissed-Off Lane. )
So, the internet appears to be abuzz with the technique to summon a Mexican demon named Charlie.

1) Really, internet? Really?
2) I'm of the (perhaps unusual?) opinion that a Mexican demon would be named Carlos, not Charlie. But perhaps I should be open to Carlos's adoption of anglicized nicknames. It's his choice; who am I to decide for him?
3) My knowledge of demonology is questionable, but do demons have Earthly nationalities? Were they not formed from the primeval aether at the dawn of creation? Or do they spring into being from the collective subconscious of mankind, drawing upon the nationality of the believers?
4) Did Carlos/Charlie take into account the nature of 21st century Earth technology when he allowed his summoning mechanism to be publicized? Because it looks like he's getting several thousand summons an hour. How does he pick and choose who he visits? Is he getting really tired? Like "Ok, five seconds to rattle their lampshades. Cut power here, half a second. Cracked mirror, two seconds. Haul up to Chicago for a few minutes, then back to Dublin, and Cairo... sweet Jesus, this is the worst idea ever... shit, did I say Jesus? Oh man, boss is gonna yell at me."
5) Is the chubacabra jealous of all the attention Carlos/Charlie is getting? He used to be the number one Mexican spook, but Charlie's got the web by the balls and isn't letting go. Poor goat sucker. Born in the wrong century.
6) No really, internet. Are we seriously doing this? Can't we just say Bloody Mary in the mirror three times like the good old days?

In summary, people are crazy, I'm still sober, and if you say my name five times to a gin bottle, I'll try to head over there soonest and maybe rattle something. But you gotta mean it.



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