Dec. 24th, 2016 10:19 am
[personal profile] chaosvizier
Who's eating a box3 of Batman v Superman breakfast cereal2 right now? I'm not saying it's this guy right here for sure1, but the odds are definitely in my favor.

1This guy right here will eat almost anything, given the chance4.
2This cereal comes in two varieties: the Batman flavor and the Superman flavor7. I am currently working with the Batman flavor5.
3Pedants among you might be noting, "But [ profile] chaosvizier, you're just eating a bowl of cereal poured from a box, not the entire box itself." WRONG! You can't be a glutton if you don't try, and I ain't no quitter.
3aPROFIT! Usually that's number three, but sometimes I forget.
4Notable exceptions to things I will not even try: Casu Marzu cheese.
5Why exactly does the Batman flavor involve strawberries? Really just curious from a marketing standpoint. "Ok, we need two distinct flavors, one that represents Batman, the Dark Knight, and one that represents Superman, Last Son of Krypton. Any suggestions? ... Yes, Jensen?" - "BATMAN TASTES LIKE STRAWBERRIES!!!!!" - "...Any other suggestions? Anyone? Anyone at all? ... *sigh* Fine. Strawberry it is. Also, Jensen, you're fired."
6Merry Almost Christmas, everyone!
7If you're wondering whether I deliberately bought this box of cereal, the answer is yes, and also I routinely make strange and horrible impulse shopping decisions in the grocery store.

Date: 2016-12-24 04:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
"When disturbed, the larvae can launch themselves for distances up to 15 cm (6 in)."

Also: Steve, Don't Eat It! -- 1991 Urkel-Os.

Date: 2016-12-24 11:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm not sure I would eat Urkel-Os even if they hadn't expired.

And yes, you highlighted one of the key issues with Casu Marzu cheese. It's cheese that has been WEAPONIZED by MAGGOTS. This point cannot be stressed enough. WEAPONIZED. CHEESE.

Date: 2016-12-24 05:47 pm (UTC)
guilty2017: (Default)
From: [personal profile] guilty2017
If either of them -had- to taste like strawberry, I'd go with Superman, that arrogant, righteous goody-two-shoes fuck. Batman should be something darker and more complex. My first thought was blueberry, then I went to aniseed. Then I thought maybe both.

Date: 2016-12-24 11:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Batman would totally be anise-flavored. Black and bitter and harsh, like everything he does. But no, somehow he is the strawberry half of this team, and one can only wonder what sugary-sweet confection will represent Kal-El.

Date: 2016-12-25 11:05 am (UTC)
guilty2017: (Default)
From: [personal profile] guilty2017

Oh! I got it! Vanilla.

Date: 2016-12-25 04:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
There is an actual city in Turkey named Batman. The city probably tastes better than the woefully-inaccurately-named Turkish Delight.

What, no C-3POs? No Mr. Ts?

And Batman the Cereal has strawberries in it to represent the many bruises he gets from fighting crime. Cereal is not pretty.
Edited Date: 2016-12-25 04:54 am (UTC)

Date: 2016-12-25 11:02 am (UTC)
guilty2017: (Default)
From: [personal profile] guilty2017

There's an electoral region in Melbourne (.au) called Batman. Named after John Batman (Pronounced "Batmun" , not "Bat Man"), the founder of Melbourne. There are also several landmarks, including a park and a train station. John Batman himself was actually kind of a dick.

Edited Date: 2016-12-25 11:04 am (UTC)

Date: 2016-12-27 01:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I remember Mr. T's cereal. He pities all the fools who don't buy it. I'm just going with what was in the store at that time.

And yes, Turkish Delights are the least delightful sweet out there. Fie on thee, Turkey!

Date: 2016-12-28 12:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I definitely want in on that conversation where they decided what Batman and Superman taste like!!

Date: 2016-12-28 03:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Exactly! You just know there was a huge board meeting and everyone threw their ideas on the table and some nutter insisted that Batman was strawberry flavored and he just shouted down all opposition until he got his way. Because there's no way logic entered into this. ;-)



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