[personal profile] chaosvizier
First off, a big Happy Birthday shoutout to [livejournal.com profile] sskipstress! She's a wee youngun' turning 42 today. And so she asked me, for today's question, how she should celebrate her 42nd birthday.

Well, let's find out!

Birthdays are fun times. Wacky fun times, even. A chance to celebrate your life and your ongoing approach to your final appointment with The Grim Reaper himself. Ok, that's not as much fun. But a birthday is an excuse for partying, and that's what counts.

Some birthdays, however, deserve extra special attention. People make a big deal out of turning 30 or 40 or 50 - major decade-based milestones that mark transitional periods in ones life. (For the record, I spent my 40th birthday in Istanbul. Sounds neat, eh? Not really; I was there on a work trip. Cheeky birthday.) There are "sweet sixteen" celebrations, and "OMG I JUST TURNED 21 LET'S DRINK ALL THE THINGS" celebrations. The Germans have a thing called a Schnappszahl, which is a multiple of 11 (22, 33, 44, etc.), and on those birthdays, Schnapps is the order of the day.

But the number 42 bears special consideration. While not as famous as some of those others, those in geeky circles know that 42 is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. It all boils down to 42. This is what the Earth was meant to solve: why 42? And so, on your 42nd birthday, you should dedicate it to the mystery that is life.

1) Drinking! Ok, I say this about pretty much every celebration. But with drinking, you have a plethora of options. Do you dare drink 42 shots, thus guaranteeing that you never make it to 43? Or maybe you just sample 42 different boozes? Or you can only drink things that are 42 proof? Lots of possibilities! And, now that you're 42, your body isn't quite as strong as it was when you were 21, which means you're probably going to die doing this. But that's ok, 43's overrated.

2) Geekery! Sit down and read all of Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers books, in memory of Doug and the number 42. It'll be a hoot. No wait, it'll be tremendously boring. But at least it's appropriate. Ok, just read one book and then skip ahead to one of the more fun options on this list.

3) Buy 42 peeps. Begin a peep jousting tournament until only one peep remains. Then set him on fire and sacrifice him to Dagon4, because peeps are nasty. Fuck peeps.

4) Food! Go out to eat with a bunch of folks. The caveat: your bill before tip has to be under $42. The person whose bill is the closest to 42 without going over gets their bill covered by everyone else. Booyah! Gambling!

5) There is a liquor called Licor 43. That's because the bottle contains 43 shots1. Pour out the first shot as a sacrifice to Dagon. Then drink the rest, if you dare.

6) There are 50 states in this nation. Go visit 42 of them. You have 24 hours; better drive fast. And hope you didn't drink a la #1 or #5. Then again, maybe that will help you drive faster.

7) Start a cult. A sexy cult5. Once you have 42 members, you need to come up with a Final Solution for them so that they can achieve enlightenment and harmony with the Universe, as the number 42 indicates. For those who fail to achieve such universal oneness, there's always sacrifice to Dagon. Because Dagon hungers.

8) Repeat steps 1-7 six times each, so that you get a total of 42 events. Neat, eh? If you're still alive by the end of all that, then I'll be right here waiting for you to claim your Ultimate Prize2.

1That is not even remotely true.
2Is this line to be followed with "...in my pants!"? Only time will tell.
4Remember, Dagon demands only the finest of sacrifices. Also, beer. Dagon loves beer.
5The best kinds of cults.

This message paid for and approved by Dagon. All hail Dagon.
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